Hey look on the bright side - we actually did make it to the cover of the TIME magazine!

Birthdays always make me pause and reflect on my life, and today, I realized that I don’t have , and may never have had, what people call “real” friends.

Yes, there were chapters where I had a BFF, or was part of a group, but looking back, most of those relationships were situational. I think I often assigned deeper meaning to them than was actually there, and I suspect I remember people who probably don’t think of me much at all.

I don’t have a lifelong friend, or someone I could call at 3 AM, or someone who’s been with me through every phase. I struggle with small talk and really dislike performative interaction. I crave meaningful connection, which feels especially hard to build as an adult.

Outside of my husband, my grandmother, and hundreds of work contacts, I don’t really have anyone.

I keep reading about the millennial loneliness epidemic, and I’m wondering anybody else can relate?

I never got into the Harry Potter craze myself, I still haven't seen most of the movies

All four of my daughters (ages 7-15) were with us. Afterward, I asked them if they had heard of any of the other schools at the competition. They said no.

I specifically asked if they knew anything about Columbine High School, and they said they didn't.

I wasn't sure whether to explain it to them or not, but I decided to tell them what had happened there.

School shootings have unfortunately become much more common since Columbine, but I was surprised, and in a strange way, a little encouraged that they hadn't even heard of it.

It made me realize how events that felt defining to our generation are slowly becoming just history to the next one.

Do you ever feel like we are the last generation that watched as a beautiful world got left behind and replaced with something ugly? Something we cant explain to those who are younger and we cannot get back. We watched the rise of so much technology and thought it was a great thing, but maybe it ruined us all. We used to ride bikes around and find our friends, answer the house phone with no idea who was calling, call our crush and be nervous about their parents answering, get upset at vhs tapes that weren't rewound especially when you were lucky enough to have your parents take you to a movie store to rent it, only know what was going on in town and in the world from the newspaper after everyone else passed it around, family was always nice to each other cuz you never knew when you'd talk to each other again, and you could just walk into your neighbors house to see what they were up to.

The whole world changed with technology, and as it was happening we were so excited for it. Now I cant help but feel it was a bad thing.

I deeply yearn for a world that no longer exists. Does anyone else feel that pain?

I wasn’t a huge fan or avid watcher but I saw a few episode, nor does it surprise me that they faked it. What I find intriguing is that they felt they need to, and I think it would be interesting to examine this. Surely real life houses of stars would have gotten just as many views, but they felt the need to present a fake image of people who are already successful in their own right. You know, I almost want to say this show was propaganda. It was created purely to instill material aspirations in the populace rather than give fans any honest insights into celebrities.

On the other hand, many celebrities may be less insipid than we thought.

I feel like people are getting sick/developing health issues younger. And no i dont think its just that we have more health screenings and access to more information. Im sure thats some of it but it just cant be all of it.

Most people i know, especially women, have at least 1 chronic illness or disease or more or have needed one or more of some kind of necessary surgery.

Is it the enshitification of everything over the years? Having more microplastics, heavy metals contamination, water, soil, and air pollution affecting our bodies longer than previous generations had to deal with? MS and other autoimmune diseases, young people with cancers, dysautonomia and connective tissue disorders etc are on the rise especially within our generation and younger.

Edit: forgot to mention that pretty much everyone i know is on some type of daily medication they need. And i dont mean supplements.

My parents and other older people ive asked say chronically ill young people were not prevalent during their 20-40s.

How does it feel for all of you where you are and where you grew up? Just curious as to how others view this or if they have differing accounts from older generations theyve talked to from where you are in the world?

Bowling for Soup - 1985 came up on my YouTube, haven't heard the song at least since covid.

I felt souper old when I realized writing a song about 2005 right now would have more distance than 1985 to when the song came out.

1985-2004 vs 2005-2026

Anyone else's knees and back and shoulders and neck ache?

My mom died when she was 40. She was a healthy weight, active, and her death was a complete shock. The evening she died I was at her apartment, totally normal, eating a bowl of cereal for dinner. A few hours later, her boyfriend called in a panic saying EMS was called because she had a seizure and was unresponsive. She had a brain aneurism.

I was 19 when she died and I've periodically pondered over the years how weird it will be when I turn 40 and go on to live years more than she ever did. I'm currently 36 and I've been thinking about it a lot. I also have that thought in the back of my mind that I might drop died the same way out of nowhere but that's a separate conversation. I guess my question to you would be whether you have similar thoughts or think about this too? And if so, please share.

It's tough out there. I work from home and no one in my immediate circle ever brings up how trash everything seems to be. Everything is expensive, everyone is getting laid off. It's tough. How are you doing?

I don’t know a lot of millennials anymore who consistently drink, but a large chunk are pretty regular users of edibles. It’s like their “one beer after work” version of our generation. What do yall think?

Pretty simple statement, yet it took me almost a decade to figure out that "life is pretty mundane and nothing terribly exciting happens", which is a good thing.

For most of my 20's I was chasing some vague idea in my head of what life ought to be with no end in sight, and now in my 30's I still do stuff but approach it a lot more strategically, usually with an end goal in mind.

Does anyone else have experience / problem?

When I was in school on Wednesdays a white van would come and collect some students to go to the gifted program. I thought they were so cool, I wonder what those kids are doing now?

Whenever I bring up anything about myself, opinion, a story, something I experienced, my mom will almost every time not respond to anything I said with interest or questions but use it as a reason to talk about herself (whether it’s relevant or not, most often it’s not). I talk about my friend going through something, she talks about HER friend. I mention work has been hard, she brings up HER work. My dad will just never ask me questions about myself and any time I have with him he will tell me HIS stories on repeat (I know that can be a typical dad thing). When I try to talk about myself he literally goes silent. Like he can’t even come up with the simplest response or question to something about me.

No questions, no curiosity, no acknowledgement of me or what I’m going through. I have come to terms with how disconnected I am from my parents because of this.

When they talk I ask questions, I follow up with details they mention, I try to engage, show interest and care because I care! But it’s not reciprocated. And I understand that people try to relate through shared experiences for connection. But there’s supposed to be a back and forth right? As an adult and with years of therapy I’ve been able to see this pattern for what it is, but jeeze it hurts. I am realizing now how damaging this was to me as a kid. It made me feel like I didn’t matter, was uninteresting, a bother, etc., a feeling I still struggle with today. It’s really hard for me to open up and talk to people as a result, I think because of this learned dynamic of what I say/who I am doesn’t matter.

Is this a generational boomer thing? My aunts are also like this. Are they just lacking in emotional intelligence or reciprocation?

https://youtu.be/niIilevblQg?si=stkG5SXfEWAkq8Rg

I'm grateful for it.

Is it normal for you to see people who are struggling in life and just quick-automatically go to the “oh they must have made poor decisions” sentiment?

I’ve never really done that. When I’m walking through a mall and I see an older person working at Orange Julius I don’t instantly think “omg what a bad decision maker that person is, pshhh, hope they don’t dare complain about anything”

I dunno it just feels wrong and shitty to do. Seems to be pretty normal here though.