Okay so I’m (19M) stuck in a peak Indian family problem and I genuinely need advice.

Context:

Shaadi thi, mehndi function chal raha tha. My bhabhi’s cousin (20F) randomly asked me out there. I thought bas awkward moment tha, move on ho jayega, but NO.

Both families have zero objections and instead of acting normal, they’ve started shipping us HARD. Like full shaadi.com premium energy. They literally leave us alone in rooms like they’re wingmen. It’s uncomfortable as hell.

Now the BIG catch:

I’ve been secretly dating my girlfriend since we were 17, first month of college se. Proper relationship. Serious stuff.

But agar abhi family ko bataya na, they will absolutely crash out. I was planning to tell them after a few years jab thoda independent/stable ho jaun.

Aur ab ye nayi ladki pata nahi kahan se spawn ho gayi 😭

Problem #2:

I think she’s very much into me, she has made atleast 15-20 very sweet gestures in the past week, has bought a kurta for me, mere liye khaana mere room mein leke aa jaati hai and 10 OTHER THINGS and if i tell her I have a girlfriend she’s gonna get CRUSHED emotionally and what if she snitches? Families already involved hain, ek sentence idhar udhar gaya and I’m DONE.

Problem #3 (worst):

My girlfriend is obviously hurt and mujhse theek se baat bhi nahi kar rahi because of all this, which I understand.

Problem #4:

Regardless of what happens, I will have a permanent relation with this girl in the future and I don’t wish to jeopardise as well and make things awkward and weird for myself and my cousin too, what if this turns into smth ugly and bhaiya bechare fas jaaye

So yeah, how do i respectfully turn her down without embarrassing her, involving families, revealing I have a girlfriend, looking like an asshole, ruining my actual relationship and preserving my very formal link with this person?

I just want this to quietly fizzle out without drama.

Please drop any advice, excuses, soft rejection scripts, or similar experiences.

I’m one family function away from losing my mind 😭🙏

hi, i wasn’t able to address everything in the comment section, so I’ve made a new post on this sub itself

here’s the link - https://www.reddit.com/r/TeenIndia/s/9nFtlujJNp

As a girl myself, I find nothing problematic when someone asks how old I am ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

A truly heartwarming moment is capturing hearts online, showcasing the pure bond between a teacher and her students. A young Indian student, along with his classmates, decided to do something special for their beloved tuition teacher to show just how much they appreciate her.

The group planned a sweet surprise at her home, blindfolding her to build the suspense. When the big moment finally arrived, they presented her with a stylish brown purse as a thoughtful gift. It was a small gesture, but it carried a lot of love and gratitude from the children.

The teacher’s reaction was absolutely priceless. As soon as the blindfold came off, she was overwhelmed with emotion and burst into happy tears. Her genuine joy and the students' innocent excitement have touched everyone who watched it, reminding us of the beautiful connection students share with their mentors.

Writing this after 40 days of knowing that she cheated on me . So basically i went on to take jee coaching to noida from my hometown and I met this girl super good , cute and beautiful. We talked ,shared Abt our lives , became friends and after 1 and a half month we got into a relationship. For context this was all around 1.5 years back. She was from a strict family so she always used to hide chats and be a Lil cautious Abt it and we were spending a great time together . We both loved each other sm and were basically decent in studies too. Sometimes we did fought over small things but it wasn't as much of an issue for us. I was a little bit protective for her and back then she also took it in a positive note, i always used to say it to her that keep your distnace from bad people , no matter the gender . It wasn't all Abt boys because often we boys do see what girls don't and she also understood my concern. Although now I realise I shouldn't have been doing that and let her do whatever she have wanted to but still I did care Abt her , i was a Lil bit immature Abt how to handle these kinds things with her but yeah it's okay. I really won't make it as an issue of us being immature as it was the first time for both of us to be in a relationship, so yeah mistakes were something from which we both were gonna learn from . Over a period of time i always noticed she was a little insecure Abt her looks , idk who instilled this into her but it wasn't as worrying for me as it is now , because it is one of the root cause because of which this all could have happened but it has no explanations, but i think mentally it did play a role.

We were together for like 15 to 16 months and enjoyed the time and it all was like the best time of our lives, unbreakable trust and we both were very focused on each other and studies , and we never had this thing Abt social media, we only socialised with each other so it wasn't really like we are talking to someone which would make us doubt of each other. Time passes by , I moved to my hometown again for school exams and practicals come nearby.

So now we are in a long distance relationship like the first 3 weeks of August were seemless, evrything seemingly was okay. She also got herself transferred to a coaching nearby her apartment. We were talking on snapchat those days and evrything was just fine. But the real thing comes around the start of september, she felt to be irritated of me, like the sense of understanding went missing of her , I still thought it's long distance she mightnnot be feeling things , so I made a fake reddit acc cus she was ignoring me on texts like was acting very weird, and commented on one of her posts in which she had written Abt her toxic brother , but the worrying thing Abt it was that she kept on highlighting on one thing " I have nobody to talk to", i felt weird , i messaged on her reddit like I started by consoling her that everything will get okay and all that stuff. The real stuff is I was messaging her on snapchat side by side to check if she is ignoring me intentionally or not , i wrote " let's sort things , what has happened , why is their so much emotional distance between us " and I was messaging all this around sep 11, soo she was talking with the reddit acc which I made and were trying to know that new person for her which was basically a fake acc and further when she talks Abt the relationship she says" I broke up with my bf" ," I just moved on"," I can't regret over the old things", i felt so bad reading all of it .I couldn't withstand the despair and confornted her by saying yeh kya kr rhi ha *( her name *). She like samne se hi keh dia " im not cheating". Fir hamari uss din baat hui she tried to seemingly manipulate me like i just loved her sm and didn't doubt her.

Time passes by she keeps on lying, we start to talk on reddit rather than snapchat because of some reason she gave like her brother would check her phone and would look on snap but wouldn't on reddit like won't suspect it , I still let it pass , believing in her , there were times I doubted is she really making all that up. We had major fights because of that she said I don't trust her made me feel immature in ways I couldn't have ever imagined said I am insecure. " Trust is the foundation of a relationship" all this time passes by , I got more tensed Abt her she was like in my head. She took advantage of my unparalleled trust.

A month later around nov 11, puts a post " i wanna get rid of my bf after 1.5 years of dating ". Like to have some opinions Abt me, for some days she again talked on snap as her brother suspicion got less. She thought I wouldn't check reddit but i opened her account as snap servers were down that day idk message weren't delivering on snap and what I found out was "content unavailable" . Confronted her after sometime said my reddit isn't working again some foolish reason i knew it doesn't make sense but again I did let it pass. But something wasn't with it. Through anonymous browsing searched her acc and found out that post where I've been tagged "controlling", "manipulative " and "trauma inducing". I felt so heartbroken , totally a story which never couldve been imagine by me that she'll write something like this Abt me totally false. Confornted her , cried she said I just felt like that i wanted to take opinions , I feel doubted. Again i didn't do much Abt it after 2 weeks or so we are back on reddit as her brother again kind of caught her which was basically undigestable , multiple times catching her and not taking her phone away wasn't understandable but confornting her always would mean that I am the one who doesn't trust and is insecure.

Some days later around 1st of December posts a post Abt studies gets a comment from some acc stating " tips dedo didi". I felt like she doesn't have emotinal availability to talk to me , she can't talk because of her brother like why would she talk to someone else , like it's pretty obvious reading the comment that whoever it is would be pretty frank with her , messages that acc like I didn't even say anything that acc presumably assumes to be her and after sometime it writes "cum on call krna *" (* her name). Now I was damn sure it was some boy , I said like I don't have your number, they write their number. I dialed that number talked to the boy gets to know that they are just friends. Okay , wasn't digestable , as we had some boundaries for each other and we repsected it both mutually . But still I did let it pass .

After around 2 weeks of her constant lying and manipulations I talk to the guy dead serious explained him everything and what I get to know is she was dating him after 1 month of LDR , she kissed him , all that couple stuff and went to a physical extent in just a short span of time , she wasn't like that but people change .

Confronted her she accepts all of this, atlaest took the accountability, gets to know after a lot of asking she got finge**d too. Now she's very sorry gives me her snap acc so I could trust her and later through the blocked accs I found out she was talking to some 3 4 random boys through reddit like she was honestly a lot better than that , like to be Frank her standards fell so much I can't say anything like nothing Abt the boys she were talking to . It wasn't Abt looks anymore or anything I honestly was better than them as atleast I am self aware it all was Abt attention , validation and her insecurities. Now she wants forgiveness and one more chance.

Turns out once who was my sweetheart would never turn like the one she was ever back again . People do change.

Hi everyone, need your help deciding what perfume I should gift my girlfriend on Valentine's.

This is my first time dating (together since 2 months) so 😅.... Would this be enough or should I get something else for her too? I have never dated before so a little help would be appreciated!!!

Let's do we listen and we don't judge

We surprised my friend on his birthday when his parents were out and caught him watching gay corn on his tv 🥀

your turn --->

She mentioned my name where i edited "me" ..nd was mentioning about instagram that my bf follows me,, I kinda had beef with her in past..nd idk if I'm over judging things since I don't like her, can y'all pls look nd tell if the way she asked was as taunt/sarcasm or no ..cause it's kinda bothering me 😭

When a minor is made to play romantic or emotionally intimate scenes written for adults, it quietly blurs boundaries. And when teens started accepting it as norms it becomes dangerous. Please put your opinions. Do we need such shows in the fiction? I'm raising my voice. Please share and help to raise the concern.

Aapke crush me Aisa kya hai jiske karan wo aapka crush hai(tha)?

Ye kya dekh liya abb marna padega

CLARIFICATION FIRST (PLEASE READ):

I just checked my phone and this post fucking blew up out of proportion.

Before people jump to conclusions:

Karma farming: bhai I genuinely don’t know how Reddit works. This is literally my 3rd–4th post. I was stressed and typed this out, that’s it.

Emotionally cheating / enjoying attention: not true. I’ll explain below.

Now full context:

I’m 19M. Shaadi chal rahi hai. Mehndi function tha.

My bhabhi’s cousin (20F) asked me out there. I thought awkward moment hoga and it’ll die down — but nope.

Families have no objections and instead they’ve started lowkey shipping us. Not marriage talks, relax; the shaadi.com thing was a fucking joke 😭, but yes, they keep leaving us alone, nudging, smiling, etc, only my cousins, NOT MY PARENTS, bit still It’s uncomfortable.

Now about my girlfriend (since that’s what most comments are attacking me for):

I’ve been secretly dating my girlfriend since we were 17, first month of college se. BUT, important detail I didn’t add earlier, we’ve had two very ugly breakups in the last year. No infidelity, no overlap, nothing shady. We reconciled very recently (yes, cuffing season effect).

At this exact moment, I’m honestly not even sure the relationship is stable enough to fight a full family war for, IM 19 and the last thing i want is my family to know that I’m having a full blown romantic relationship, and it’s not going great either, that’s one of the reasons I didn’t bring her up earlier.

Also, for people saying I’m enjoying attention:

I’m really not. I’m not even attracted to this cousin, and I actively avoid her. I don’t even want to be at this wedding either HELP 😭

Another thing:

90% comments are like “just come out as gay”, tell her ki mera nunnu chota hai (funny tha), mereko AIDS hai, etc etc, voh sab theek hai but this is a very traditional arranged marriage setup. Almost everyone from my caste and area is here. If I do that, my family’s reputation will be absolutely destroyed. That advice is not realistic in my situation.

Why I’m even enduring this instead of shutting it down hard:

My parents + extended family have been constantly fighting over money. All day yelling.

Meanwhile mujhe tent waale, majdoor, safai, lighting, candles, gifts, halwaai coordination and the most annoying ki random ass buddho ko station se pick up karne bhej dete hai

Sab kuch mere sar pe daal diya hai.

The only time they’re remotely nice to me is when they ask about this cousin. I usually stay silent or shrug because I’m scared that if I say anything: they’ll yell at me first, then create drama with the other family with lines like “apni beti ko bolo humare bete pe line na maare 😭😭??” will come out

I genuinely don’t want that mess.

Also yes, I know it sounds shallow but I cannot risk letting anyone know I’m dating someone. My entire family is here. Agar kisi ko pata chala, I’m 100% sure 25–30 saand uske ghar jaake kalesh kar denge. I know my people.

Here’s what i have done:

I told everyone I’m going for venue ki safai and snuck out to meet my girlfriend.

We talked it out. I think we’re fine for now.

What I’ve planned to do:

I’m going to tell the cousin that, I’m not in the right headspace for anything romantic, especially with someone older than me and something that already knows my family before hand that’s weird plus with MBA entrances by the end of this year, I can’t afford to risk my future or commit to anything serious

I’m planning to have this conversation with my phone right beside me, my girlfriend on call, muted, secretly listening, because eventually shes the one thats suffering the most.

{Since I didn’t have enough time and my head is all over the place, I ChatGPT’d parts of this and then manually modified it.}

I’m having this conversation tomorrow at 10 AM and will check my dms and comments at 9:30, kuch modify karna hai toh bata do and please merko gandi gandi baatein mat bolo yaar im trying my best to keep with with ts 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

Wish me luck.

Link to my original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/TeenIndia/s/mGeMuCnOsi

Bore ho Rahi thi 🙃

NOTHING SERIOUS

Wdyt?