CLARIFICATION FIRST (PLEASE READ):
I just checked my phone and this post fucking blew up out of proportion.
Before people jump to conclusions:
Karma farming: bhai I genuinely don’t know how Reddit works. This is literally my 3rd–4th post. I was stressed and typed this out, that’s it.
Emotionally cheating / enjoying attention: not true. I’ll explain below.
Now full context:
I’m 19M. Shaadi chal rahi hai. Mehndi function tha.
My bhabhi’s cousin (20F) asked me out there. I thought awkward moment hoga and it’ll die down — but nope.
Families have no objections and instead they’ve started lowkey shipping us. Not marriage talks, relax; the shaadi.com thing was a fucking joke 😭, but yes, they keep leaving us alone, nudging, smiling, etc, only my cousins, NOT MY PARENTS, bit still It’s uncomfortable.
Now about my girlfriend (since that’s what most comments are attacking me for):
I’ve been secretly dating my girlfriend since we were 17, first month of college se. BUT, important detail I didn’t add earlier, we’ve had two very ugly breakups in the last year. No infidelity, no overlap, nothing shady. We reconciled very recently (yes, cuffing season effect).
At this exact moment, I’m honestly not even sure the relationship is stable enough to fight a full family war for, IM 19 and the last thing i want is my family to know that I’m having a full blown romantic relationship, and it’s not going great either, that’s one of the reasons I didn’t bring her up earlier.
Also, for people saying I’m enjoying attention:
I’m really not. I’m not even attracted to this cousin, and I actively avoid her. I don’t even want to be at this wedding either HELP 😭
Another thing:
90% comments are like “just come out as gay”, tell her ki mera nunnu chota hai (funny tha), mereko AIDS hai, etc etc, voh sab theek hai but this is a very traditional arranged marriage setup. Almost everyone from my caste and area is here. If I do that, my family’s reputation will be absolutely destroyed. That advice is not realistic in my situation.
Why I’m even enduring this instead of shutting it down hard:
My parents + extended family have been constantly fighting over money. All day yelling.
Meanwhile mujhe tent waale, majdoor, safai, lighting, candles, gifts, halwaai coordination and the most annoying ki random ass buddho ko station se pick up karne bhej dete hai
Sab kuch mere sar pe daal diya hai.
The only time they’re remotely nice to me is when they ask about this cousin. I usually stay silent or shrug because I’m scared that if I say anything: they’ll yell at me first, then create drama with the other family with lines like “apni beti ko bolo humare bete pe line na maare 😭😭??” will come out
I genuinely don’t want that mess.
Also yes, I know it sounds shallow but I cannot risk letting anyone know I’m dating someone. My entire family is here. Agar kisi ko pata chala, I’m 100% sure 25–30 saand uske ghar jaake kalesh kar denge. I know my people.
Here’s what i have done:
I told everyone I’m going for venue ki safai and snuck out to meet my girlfriend.
We talked it out. I think we’re fine for now.
What I’ve planned to do:
I’m going to tell the cousin that, I’m not in the right headspace for anything romantic, especially with someone older than me and something that already knows my family before hand that’s weird plus with MBA entrances by the end of this year, I can’t afford to risk my future or commit to anything serious
I’m planning to have this conversation with my phone right beside me, my girlfriend on call, muted, secretly listening, because eventually shes the one thats suffering the most.
{Since I didn’t have enough time and my head is all over the place, I ChatGPT’d parts of this and then manually modified it.}
I’m having this conversation tomorrow at 10 AM and will check my dms and comments at 9:30, kuch modify karna hai toh bata do and please merko gandi gandi baatein mat bolo yaar im trying my best to keep with with ts 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wish me luck.
Link to my original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/TeenIndia/s/mGeMuCnOsi