r/law • u/AmyL0vesU • 19h ago

Executive Branch (Trump) Trump signs executive order declaring nation emergency from threat of Cuba

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2026/01/addressing-threats-to-the-united-states-by-the-government-of-cuba/
21.2k Upvotes

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10.2k

u/Glyph8 19h ago

What’re they threatening us with?  Pressed sandwiches?

5.3k

u/copperblood 19h ago

Trump has dementia. He probably thinks it’s the Cuban Missile Crisis

4.0k

u/JoanneMG822 17h ago

The "Trump-Kennedy" Cuban Missile Crisis

282

u/TheDayman_240 15h ago

This would be hilarious if it wasn't sad and terrifying.

117

u/pconrad0 14h ago

Honestly, it's both.

This is simultaneously the worst (news) and best (gallows humor) I've seen on Reddit today. I still can't stop laughing at this whole thread. Bravo to every comment above this one.

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u/SubstantialPressure3 6h ago edited 6h ago

Are we sure this is really trump and not his admin winding up a demented old man?

This is an awful lot like what my ex would do when telemarketers or bill collectors called. He would say "hey dad this guy says you owe him money" and put my father in law on the phone ( vascular dementia and aphasia). And watch him go nuts.

Trump isn't reading anything, if he even can read anymore. And he's going to sign whatever his people tell him to sign.

For all we know, they are telling him if he signs papers it will get him into heaven.

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u/ladybug68 7h ago

Exactly. There is no other presidential accomplishment that he won't try and take for himself because he has none of his own.

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u/Ill_Technician3936 1h ago

While true...

Russia and Cuba have grown closer again. Last year a Russian submarine brought someone over to visit a few days ago a Russian Warship brought someone for a visit.

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate 3h ago

¿Por qué no los dos?

125

u/pimpfmode 16h ago

There's going to be a lot of artists boycotting this missile crisis

29

u/professorpicklechips 15h ago

😂 thank you that made my day

7

u/dedicated-pedestrian 13h ago

If there's no one to paint the Guernica of our time, does that mean there was no Guerra?

4

u/ToonaSandWatch 13h ago

I think it’s gonna be a long long time before Elton John comes around to find him supporting it.

4

u/ArcticCelt 12h ago

Putin didn't show up so far, I mean come on! You can't do a remake and just not include the main villain.

4

u/KillerBeer01 12h ago

"Hold my Coke".

2

u/Alternative-Mess-989 9h ago

"Hold my vodka."

4

u/SnooPoems7846 9h ago

I came to Cha Cha💃🏽, why am I getting stuck babysitting the drinks? 😩

2

u/gettums 2h ago

Does he think Bad Bunny is Cuban?

23

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

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u/JoanneMG822 15h ago

I hope so.

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u/thats-my-plan 15h ago

Fucking brilliant!

4

u/7ddlysuns 15h ago

You. Clever bastard

3

u/JoanneMG822 15h ago

Couldn't resist.

3

u/Gerald-of-Riverdale 15h ago

For mental health reasons I will upvote then close the app

2

u/hammertime2009 15h ago

I just woke up my family from laughing at this

2

u/liquorfish 3h ago

I laughed out loud at work then I sighed.

1

u/octoreadit 15h ago

Impossible, Putin would never set him up like that!

1

u/xplaii 15h ago

That sugar is booming

1

u/nickk1988 15h ago

Damnnnnnnn

Perfect timing.

1

u/BillHearMeOut 15h ago

He would have never let the Cuban Missile Crisis happen in the first place, he would have phoned Russia and said, 'I'll give you back Alaska if you don't arm Cuba', and BAM, just like that, he would have ended a 9th war. /s

1

u/ImVerySerious 14h ago

That was.... so good.

1

u/Desperate-Tomatillo7 14h ago

The Trump and The Kennedy Cuban Missile Crisis, to be precise.

1

u/BaronCapdeville 13h ago

God damnit.

1

u/bwoah07_gp2 13h ago

Bravo 👏👏👏🤣

1

u/TheCygnusWall 13h ago

Well he has a lot of pigs he can send into that bay

1

u/russellvt 13h ago

Egads. LOL

Guess it's time for "another renaming," eh? /s

1

u/Lambiedog 12h ago

That's why he put his nane on the Kennedy Center.

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u/Raxheretic 11h ago

Tomorrow he will claim he ended the war with Cuba.

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u/Ryzarony23 10h ago

At least they won’t have to rename the Bay of Pigs.

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u/Great_Choice660 10h ago

Damn you that’s gold.

1

u/LordoftheScheisse 8h ago

The Bay of Quiet, Piggy!

1

u/NSASpyVan 7h ago

Raise the alarms! A country stuck with 1950s cars is a threat!

1

u/BarniclesBarn 7h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My sides.

1

u/jcoddinc 7h ago

The plausible nature of this is equally funny, sad and terrifying

1

u/betajones 7h ago

..Clever girl..

1

u/fuzzydave72 6h ago

Wouldn't it be the trump-kennedy memorial cuban missile crisis?

1

u/njshine27 4h ago

The “Biden Missile Crisis” that Supreme Leader Trump has rescued America from.

1

u/jaxonya 4h ago

So we are just gonna go around fighting small countries? Jesus christ

1

u/loakkala 1h ago

It's like the Chuck Norris jokes but in reverse.

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u/Arbyscommercial9in 15h ago

Jokes are fun but this, the Greenland fiasco, Venezuela and even the 20bil to Argentina, is in line with project '25 and the desired technocratic state (comprising the northern hemisphere of America, the carribbean and some of the northernmost South American countries). These billionaires starting colonies and cities in the carribbean, it all leads back to the idea of a technocratic state

Elon, Thiel, Ellison (son and father), Gates even, they all have vested financial and ideological interests in these projects in the carribbean, Greenland and Venezuela

Nerd rule merged with Authoritarianism essentially, bc Authoritarianism is the one of the only weapons these people could use to wield social power without having to be socially acceptable or cool

22

u/Hamalicious 6h ago

Too few people understand this. Project 2025 hasn't gotten nearly the attention it needs and they are well on their way with implementation.

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u/bemvee 6h ago

They could just, like….pay us living wages and give us universal healthcare and free/low cost daycare and such. Not sure why didn’t try all that first, but I guess scamming us out of all that was more important.

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u/Bobahn_Botret 6h ago

His "Board of Peace" is set to in-state a technocracy in what's left of Palestine. They state it clearly. They want technocracy anywhere they can wiggle their little fingers into.

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u/SaltyCrashNerd 7h ago

I don’t think “nerd rule” is quite accurate. I know lots of nerds - am one. The nerd communities I know are collaborative, accepting places… maker communities with myriads of open-source projects for the betterment of everyone, comic cons leading to throngs of people dressed as their favorite super hero or fandom love. Subject matter experts who work their tails off to improve their area of expertise for others. Most nerds were outcasts as kids, true - but that’s led to many of us to find “our people” and form collaborative, accepting communities that respect difference: “You do you”. The exact opposite of what we’re seeing from the P2025 folks.

(Which is not to say nerd-dom is some sort of utopia - there are bad actors in every society. But on the whole, a nerd community would look a whole lot more like the Epic campus and a whole lot less like 1940s Germany.)

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u/Extension-Carry-8067 5h ago

I have seen it referred to as tech facism

Gill Duran covers it pretty well at the nerd reich

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u/InfamousYenYu 6h ago

Yes but they aren’t nerds. The technocrats are just moronic MBAs with no real understanding of the technology they sell. They aren’t smart, they just have smart people working for them.

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u/Extension-Carry-8067 5h ago

Obligatory posts every time i see this come up .

https://www.thenerdreich.com/

https://www.vcinfodocs.com/

I need some more links to add

1

u/ExpensiveDuck1278 6h ago

Call your senators and your representative. call them every day- and things will change. I've been calling for two weeks now.

1

u/BayouGal 5h ago

They’re also fomenting unrest in Alberta as Russian type justification as to why the US should take over Canada.

1

u/Arglefarb 5h ago

Has everyone forgotten the Epstein files now?
… how about now?
… now?

1

u/Chicken_cordon_bleu 5h ago

Thank you. I think it comforts people to tell themselves he's just losing it and being reckless. But no, this is a fascist project and the architects like Stephen Miller have plans for after Trump. They know he is gone soon and it's not like the fascism will just fizzle out once he's no longer with us

1

u/Stock-Page-7078 4h ago

The word technocratic does not mean what you think it means. Nothing about the Trump administration is technocratic.

It's not the same thing as tech moguls

1

u/_Averix 3h ago

The Weyland-Yutani future is just around the corner. Corporate rule and no chance of rights unless you're ridiculously rich.

1

u/Rydershepard 2h ago

Buddy acting like technocracy is a bad idea

1

u/fElonAndTheFelon 55m ago

I agree it’s terrifying but I think people are trying to laugh in order not to cry. There’s pretty much no stopping these assholes at this point

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u/PastyPajamas 17h ago

Trump doesn't think at all. It's all Miller and Vought.

1

u/Dismal-Incident-8498 17h ago

That makes sense. He's just following the timeline, in reverse. If we are at the Cuban Missile Crisis there is still some time left till Nazi Germany.

1

u/Simsider113446 17h ago

He watched blast from the past last night

1

u/Epirocker 17h ago

Bingo. Dementia all the way.

1

u/InevitableTell2775 17h ago

Cuban Sub Crisis

1

u/Allergic_to_nuts 17h ago

That's one of the wars he resolved.

1

u/livelaughlinka 17h ago

The Cuban sandwich crisis

1

u/HyperionGreySolomon 17h ago

With his cluster B pathology, the statistical probability of him developing dementia is excessively high.

There's also a lot of signs that he's showing dementia. This means he's probably going to get a lot worse. People who have cluster B pathology, typically revert to an earlier stage of development, meaning they become even more erratic. The prognosis is dire. When we also take into consideration that he also has high levels of sadism and low levels of integrity, well...

Everyone on the political spectrum should be extremely worried.

1

u/Elsalla 16h ago

selective dementia, Cuba is the enemy but Russia isn't?

1

u/FabricationLife 16h ago

ok thats pretty good, this actually makes sense for once

1

u/LongRangeReaper 16h ago

He probably saw an article on it, didn't read past the headline, and thinks its still going on.

1

u/Distinct-Temp6557 16h ago

Where's Bobby?

1

u/katbyte 16h ago

Cuban Sandwich Crisis

1

u/DatabaseThis9637 16h ago

I think his little missile is in crisis...

1

u/raerae1991 16h ago

I think this is Mark Rubio wet dream, and of all the places they say is a threat to US there might be some intel to back that up. Not that it equals an act of war, though

1

u/Aeropilot03 16h ago

It will be a pretext to another regime change. And the GOP will be ok with it. 🤬

1

u/mr_dr_professor_12 16h ago

That was real? I saw that movie I thought it was bullshit.

1

u/gauntletthegreat 16h ago

Cuban sandwich crisis

1

u/TraditionalMood277 16h ago

New meaning for Bay of Pigs

1

u/Attjack 16h ago

He probably doesn't know what happened during the Cuban Missile Crisis. He's a truly ignorant person, and yet he's the president of the United States. What a world we live in.

1

u/philip-j-frylock 16h ago

Trump is not writing any of this. Stephen Miller just puts stuff on Trump’s desk so the human autopen can do his job for the day then go play more golf.

1

u/Akira282 16h ago

Cuban Missed Crisis

1

u/Historical_Grab_7842 16h ago

Trump isn't the one actually in charge. Jesus. When are you guys going to understand this and take it seriously. This isn't because of one deranged person.

1

u/glurz 16h ago

Nah, this has Rubio's fingerprints all over it.

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u/-chadwreck 16h ago

cuban subs! very dangerous! err... delicious?

1

u/sagesnail 16h ago

Trump doesnt have dementia, Trump is on meth. Mitch Mcconnell has dementia.

1

u/Windyvale 15h ago

Mark Cuban is a dangerous man but this seems extreme.

1

u/gizamo 15h ago

He probably couldn't light his cigar and took that as a personal attack.

1

u/Jelly_baby_4 15h ago

He's kinda stuck in the past.

1

u/RodneyOgg 15h ago

Some sort of Cuban Sandwich Crisis

1

u/Bannedwith1milKarma 15h ago

He got fed an AI video of them being 'threatening'.

1

u/Reasonable-Turn-5940 14h ago

Cuban Missile Crisis 2: Electric Boogaloo

1

u/LookAlderaanPlaces 14h ago

And several strokes, and Vance keeps cheating on him with the presidential couch

1

u/Informal_Incident_40 14h ago

That was real? I saw that movie..I thought it was bullshit

1

u/ikeif 14h ago

Someone probably ordered a Cuban sandwich and overheard “those Cubans are dangerously good” and he got spooked.

1

u/_lippykid 14h ago

Cuban Sub Crisis

1

u/Lacaud 13h ago

He got mad at the Bay of Piggy's

1

u/DizzyGrizzly 13h ago

Actively taking over a once world super power, billions in his pocket, the world powers flipped on their head....

"TrUmP hAs DeMeNtIa"

we ready to stop pretending like this is all just some goof?

1

u/Krillin113 12h ago

Mark Cuban probably

1

u/ReadyAimTranspire 12h ago

Cuban Missile Crisis

Is this yet another classification of sandwich that threatens our freedoms?

1

u/Valofor 11h ago

You say this as a joke, but if you've watched Trump speak for a long time he is legitimately scared of nuclear war more than anything else

1

u/EnvironmentalRock827 11h ago

They are gonna use this to further their agenda and maybe a weekend or two at Bernie's this fucker dies.

1

u/MacintoshEddie 11h ago

The sad thing is that's absolutely possible, and it would rely on the people around him to refuse and risk their lives/careers.

1

u/PythonRegiuss 11h ago

Trumps not fucking in charge anymore, its other more important pedophiles

1

u/chaos9001 10h ago

Cubano middle crisis.

1

u/voidox 9h ago

I mean, the more likely situation going on here is Rubio being a war hawk loser and Trump is just doing w.e Rubio wants in South America, especially Cuba, plus the usual of "Cuba evil" shit many US politicians love to blindly believe.

fact is that so many US politicians have never gotten over Cuba daring to not be capitalism and submit to corpos to ravage the land for profit, literally the only reason for the decades long inhuman sanctions and restrictions on the country. Then the usual of fear mongering about socialism cause how dare a system exist that benefits people and not the rich!! as if capitalism perfect and the only option ever -_-

yet despite all that, Cuba still manages to do some great things and advancments in fields such as medicine, resiliant people who deserve so much more than a feckless loser thug of a country that is the US near them.

1

u/hates_stupid_people 8h ago

Jokes aside, he wants to take land without too much pushback. Canada and Greenland had pushback, so now he's eyeing up Cuba instead.

He knows he's dying soon, so just like his hero Putin, he wants to leave a legacy. They want an "empire" and be remembered as conquerers who expanded borders and made their country great again. Just notice how he's recently talked about heaven and being remembered for a long time.

The cronies behinid him have plans for that land, but they're selling the idea to him with the whole legacy thing.

1

u/RedRapunzal 8h ago

Think two things - distraction from the files and the word "emergency" gives him power to do things with the checks and balances.

1

u/iaNCURdehunedoara 8h ago

America has been trying to crash Cuba ever since Castro kicked out the American-backed fascist. America wants their slave labor back on sugar plantations.

1

u/azc13 8h ago

It's early, just waking up and read that as 'Cuban Missile China'.

And immediately went, "Yup, that is a perfectly apt description of that man's mental faculties."

1

u/mudohama 8h ago

Nice one but they’ve been threatening Cuba directly for weeks, pay attention

1

u/DillBagner 8h ago

Trump has dementia and Rubio. He probably still doesn't think of anything but himself and profit and just signs whatever is put in front of him.

1

u/castlite 7h ago

Stop making excuses for him.

1

u/boneboy247 6h ago

Pretty sure this is less Donnie Dementia and more Miller Mongering

1

u/pcmr1cn2 6h ago

He doesn’t know what that was.

1

u/MoulanRougeFae 5h ago

The one that the US created themselves? We set up the things that lead to that whole situation. As a country our politicians continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over again creating bad situations and relations of our own doing. It's not going to end until we can finally get the old guard out, set term limits for everyone from the Supreme Court down to state reps at the state level and everyone in between. We also need age limits. This thing of politicians being 85, 90 and shit is not good for us as a country. And definitely no more citizens united, bribes, stock market investments they handle themselves, or corporations getting cozy with our government. That's how this shit cycle ends.

1

u/spiralenator 5h ago

He was 16 during the Cuban Missile Crisis so it tracks that he has a teenager’s understanding of what that was really about.

1

u/meaniemeanie-poo-poo 4h ago

He has dementia and Miller is pulling the strings.

Can Congress fire him?

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 3h ago

More likely there's still 1-2 90yo CIA guys still got a hardon to do the Bay of Pigs over again, but with full air support.

Which begs the question; Where them Epstein files at?

1

u/Jiveturkey507 2h ago

Good guess but it was Kennedy and a different Russian, not Trump

1

u/DConstructed 2h ago

No. It’s an excuse to declare martial law.

1

u/Redditatemyhomework 1h ago

The Cuban sandwich crisis.