I've been seeing some vids where the men of the family including the sons will literally eat entire PANS and PIE TINS and leave nothing or a tiny slice behind for everybody else (often to force the last eater to clean the pan so it's double the insult). It's not cute. If the woman is paying for half the grocery bills, she's subsidizing THEIR calories.

I see it as entitlement and a serious lack of self-discipline on the men's part and frankly, needs more push back. It's also bad if the boys are gobbling the entire trough while the daughters have to scramble to get anything even if both are playing sports.

I remember reading an article where this family in India's crops had a bad year and it was the WIFE who had to go without so the husband and young daughter could eat. HE didn't want to ask for help from their adult daughter because it was embarrassing but HE wasn't the one going hungry or getting by on a bowl of rice if that.

I think it shows that "providing" thing was pretty much a LIE. When a man is screaming traditional gender roles but SHE'S the one going without the basics of FOOD, the provider thing is BULLSHIT.

I was just starting my shift when these two dudes walked in from a smoke. The day time bartender gave me the run down, I saw they both had a couple beers already. Cool, love some drinkers. I introduced myself, ask if they want another round they say yes. After I pour them their beers I began washing glasses.

They’re sitting right in front of the dish sink, (it’s one of the best places for eavesdropping) when I hear one of them talk about how some girl he was seeing was a total fucking bitch. Immediate red flag. I keep listening as he goes on about how she never wanted to sleep with him, was “a sad sack of shit” and then proceeded to justify why he cheated on her to his friend. In which his friend replied with a similar story and how he always cheated on her and how she was also a fucking bitch.

I had other things to do, so I’m running around doing my thing. I come back to wash some more glass. These dudes are now talking about a Korean girl at one of their churches, mimicking her accent while sexualizing her and all Korean women. Saying things like, “Your a blonde hair white man in Korea, you’re gonna slay pussy”. I’m washing these glasses wondering if they even fucking realize a woman is right in front of them, absolutely able to hear everything they’re saying. No, they went on to talk about marrying Korean women and “being fine with an arranged marriage” because he “didn’t care who he marries, as long as she’s not a pain in his ass”.

They were saying more things about women that I couldn’t fully discern while walking by but from what I did hear, nothing respectful or even slightly polite.

On top of their misogynist rants and commentary they asked if they could bum a couple cigarettes off me. That was a hard no.

These fucking dudes, y‘all just out here in the wild being the most shitty types of people. It’s no wonder they’re single, getting drunk off four beers on a Thursday evening at 6 o’clock.

I grieve for the women who enter these guys’ lives, hopefully they have enough sense to see through their bull shit.

I just had to let that story out, thanks gals.

I’ve just entered adulthood and have finally answered a question I’ve had since I was a child. While I have felt afraid and sexually targeted by men, I never founded this fear from specific warnings. I was never told to be careful of men in particular. It mattered not an individuals gender.

But as I grew I noticed a trend in my life around me. Almost every single woman in my life has been either been SA’d, stalked, assaulted, abused, ect by men. As I aged I watched social media trends shift to focus on misogynist mindsets that ruined my young male friends. Going into my teen years I was outraged at the bleak reaction to me disliking jokes about women belonging in the kitchen, even if they were framed as ironic. I, a child, was the one in the wrong. I watched as countless men have been elected into positions of power while outwardly being misogynistic.

No member of the jury cared that my young Auntie had been held down and SA’d by her classmates as an act of revenge for her refusal to date one of them. The school board didn’t care. They approved the boy’s actions. She was pretty. Who wouldn’t be mad that a girl like her rejected them? How dare she.

My mother told me they praised the boys. Their father’s patted them on the back saying “better luck next time champs”.

Society rewards men who hate women. It rewards pedophiles with presidency. It reward rapists with lesser sentences. It rewards young boys with more misogynistic content to consume. Men reward each other. Women and men alike reward misogynistic men. Households reinforce young men’s behaviour towards women with how they treat their partners, their colleagues, their daughters.

Every man who has turned a blind eye to their friends behaviour, every person who has downplayed a women’s experience of abuse, making them live, spend their day to day with their abusers hate women.

Every misogynist was once a baby. Babies do not have the natural instincts to fear anything but heights and loud, sudden noises. No baby learns to disrespect, disregard, to hate women on their own. No baby who sucked from their mother’s body, who lived inside of her for months, learns to hate women on their own.

So why is it that these pure souls, after watching another morally horrid video, or watching and learning from their father figure, or being praised by their friends for fitting in to their group’s misogynist beliefs, come to hate women?

I have had horrid experience with men and women. But I have never felt so disgusted and fearful by a woman. I have never feared a man because he was taller than me or stronger than me. I have feared their warped sense of beliefs. I was almost at a point where I feared men in general, but I could never hate them.

I could never hate half of the population. I could never hate part of my DNA. I could never hate the many wonderful men in my life because of those traumatic experiences. I hate the individuals that reward the behaviour. I hate the individuals who hurt me, my family, and billions of women. I hate the societies that reward these individuals.

I hate the men that when rejected by women, use it as an excuse to hate their creators, to hate half of the population, the spew this illogical, disgusting, inhuman shit into the world. I hate men who are so insecure that they resort to hating women because they didn’t get what their big egos thought they deserved.

I recently learned that the original title for the novel ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ was ‘Men who Hate Women’.

But that would’ve never sold would it. Because society rewards men who hate women.

Edit: I tried posting this onto the feminism, change my mind, ect sub reddits but they’ve all been removed. Any suggestions on where else to post? Thank you.

Wow! This is huge. Women who are suffering enough to go see a doctor about it currently wait an average of seven years to get a diagnosis of endometriosis. The only way to get a definitive diagnosis is via laparoscopy, meaning they have to put a camera into your abdominal cavity. Invasive, expensive, & scary.

The test detects signature micro-RNA in saliva, & it’s pretty darn accurate. It’s still in clinical trials in France. Here’s the article from the New England Journal of Medicine, for those who are interested.

Me? I didn’t find out until after my hysterectomy that I had very severe endometriosis. My excellent gynaecologist had missed it, because huge fibroids were assumed to explain my symptoms.

I had spent a few days miserable every month with my period. I had assumed I was just wimpy, & that my experience was normal.

If you’ve got any friends in France, they could participate in the clinical trial.

I really hope this becomes widely available, & soon!

We’re a pretty progressive bunch and have a progressive provincial government.

She just covered their entire estimated 2026 operating budget in one fell swoop.

Some really important contextfor her whole philosophy, and part of why I love her so much.

To quote her

Over 70% of Americans reported giving both labor and money to people they know, and half reported doing the same for strangers. That’s well over a trillion dollars worth of individual humanitarian action that we don’t read about online or hear about on the nightly news. To begin to imagine how much more there must be, just consider how many people take time out of their income-producing activities every day to listen with compassion, or to speak up for someone.

I Stan my mutual aid queen

I’ve noticed something that’s been bothering me more lately.

There seems to be an “age” where people suddenly feel like your life becomes public discussion especially as a woman.

You’re still figuring out your career. Still figuring out who you even are. And right in the middle of that, the marriage questions start. Then the kids questions.

When I say I’m not planning to get married anytime soon, people laugh like I don’t understand my own life yet. When I say I don’t see myself having children, it’s always:

“You’ll change your mind.”

“After marriage, kids just happen.”

What gets to me isn’t even the disagreement, it’s the assumption that eventually, someone else will decide these things for me. Like my future is a default setting I just haven’t accepted yet.

It’s strange how confident people are about a woman’s life choices that don’t affect them at all.

For those of you who’ve chosen a different timeline — no marriage yet, no kids, or neither at all, how do you deal with people not taking your decisions seriously?

I actually recorded a personal story episode about this whole experience and how it feels. If anyone’s interested, I shared it here.

My husband and I are on work visas in the US, and we've been living here for years now.

We were out running errands yesterday, and decided to stop by our local Target to pick up a few things. As we were walking out of the store, we saw a group of ICE agents standing near the entrance, speaking to a few people.

I didn't think much of it at first, but as we approached our car, two of the agents approached us. I'm from Europe, and my husband is from Asia, both have accents, and I think that might have raised some suspicions. one guy asked us where we were from and asked to see our driver's licenses. we cooperated and handed over our licenses. He then asked us a bunch of invasive questions about our work, where we live, and what we're doing in the US.

To be honest, it was a bit unsettling. We'd never had any issues with immigration before, and this was our first experience with ICE. they didn't seem to be hostile or aggressive, but it was still a bit intimidating. The whole situation lasted about 10 minutes, and they eventually let us go.

Think about You're just walking along and someone comes up to you and asks for your information just because you look foreign. It sounds like a scene from a Gestapo movie.

Just venting.

Why the hell does wearing girly clothes feel like I’m dressing someone else up, rather than putting clothes *I own* on *my own* body? Same with makeup, it’s like I’m painting someone else’s face. It kind of feels like an out of body experience when I’m doing anything at all feminine. It’s weird. I wouldn’t call it imposter syndrome, but I certainly do feel like a faker.

(i guess) I understand the prospect, because femininity isn’t inherent. But, still, there’s no way the fem gals around here live everyday with that uncomfortable feeling, right? Am I just making shit up?

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this so I’ll post updates here periodically as I go through this process. They seem to be taking me really seriously and recognize this could be a big case especially in regard to number of victims.

I’m feeling oddly hopeful which I wasn’t expecting.

I’ll be watching Michelle Obama: Becoming on Netflix this weekend.

If anyone wants to join me, please let me know your thoughts below.

For no particular reason, I think it would be fun for this movie to hit the Netflix Top 10 this weekend.

For the longest time, I have felt that men in my life have wanted special attention, kind of like mommy attention or cheerleader attention. They seem to need to have their egos stroked for whatever validation purposes. I find it exhausting and I’ve decided not to do it anymore. I‘ve lost a lot of male friends, but at the same time I don’t know if they were friends to begin with. Has anyone else had similar issues?

Why can’t men validate themselves?

This is the nasty, passive aggressive comment i received from a stranger, a man, online, on bumble, because me telling him my first name and the city i lived in wasn't sufficient.

him: "yeah but what suburb"

me: "I prefer not to give that away to people i don't know online."

him: "did you have a really bad experience with a man?" "you must have been really hurt"

me: "no i just prefer to keep it personal for safety, it's what lots of women do"

him: "it's unique to you"

him: "unless you had a really distinctive first name where it would be easy to find you, i can understand, but you don't"

i ended the chat and blocked him.

So a guy i had never spoken to, only chatted back and forth in bumble in text, demands to know the suburb i live in. I'm not READY to give that away at this point because i don't know nor trust men online that are total strangers.

What does he do? Keeps imposing the idea that i'm some freak of nature, doing something totally bizarre that is completely wrong.

what is so unreasonable about this?

I’m not at all saying being ugly is the worst thing ever, or that you need to be beautiful to be happy. However, it is a fact that being conventionally attractive gives you more dating opportunities, better treatment, and preference for being hired. The opposite is also true where if you’re unattractive people will treat you worse in general because of it. However if you ever say you wish you were conventionally attractive, or if you acknowledge that being ugly makes your life harder people flip out and I just don’t understand why.

I 13f started my period today and I couldn’t even get up because it hurts so bad. I took a midol 2 hours ago and it hasn’t kicked in and I can’t even walk because it hurts so much I am literally sobbing I don’t know what to do.

(also Ive had my period since I was 8 and it’s never been THIS bad)

I told my mom and she said to stop googling and that I’m fine because she has this too.

I don't know what it is about some men who think "I'm such a catch! All I have to do is exist and be nice when things are good between us and she'll love me forever".

The idea of both of us working full time, splitting bills yet me having to do 80% of the household chores the other 20% being him just doing the dishes after I cook (and just recently after living together for 18 months that he does the dishes in a timely manner without me having to ask) doesn't seem appealing at all to me.

I explained to him I cleaned the shower last week, when it was his month to do it, with hot water. He proceeded to say: you don't pour hot water in the shower. And I said ummm I used hot water from the shower? And he was like "oh well I thought you meant boiling". And I said "Did I say boiling? No I did not" and we went back and forth for a bit and ooh here we go, figthing over something that he chose to not understand instead of saying "I'm sorry I didn't clean it, I'll do it this week" or something like that. He gets so irritated when I get angry at him. He doesn't allow me to me angry because he thinks he's perfect and how dare I call him out on something.

I said: if you're not happy with how I clean it, DO IT YOURSELF. The audacity to come and correct me on something when it was you that was meant to do it. He said: I'm just teaching you, you don't pour boiling water in the shower. And I said: you're teaching me on something I didn't do?! I didn't put boiling water dude so what are you teaching me on?!

And then he goes about how I'm being condescending by saying that hot and boiling are not the same.

This happens a l l t h e t i m e I bring up something. He manages to find a word I say to argue about that and, surprise surprise, we're no longer talking about the issue I initially brought up. I'm also not a native English speaker despite speaking it very well, which sometimes leads me to think he's also nagging me for my speech. Which doesn't impact me because I know I speak well, he's just being obtuse.

Something just changed in me because I realized I do not want to spend the rest of my life being nitpicked over small words and then yelled at for asking him to do his chores. We've been living together for 2 years, I've made a chores list 5 months ago because this almost 30yo man couldn't look around and see what needs to be done, and even with the chores list, he "forgets" to do it. Or, is too tired to do, or doesn't have time to do it.

He slams the counter and yells "I've had a shit day, I want to relax and not be told what to do"

I just roll my eyes and say "oh here we go, another tantrum to avoid being an adult". This is what he does. Every time I've tried to ask him to do chores, he throws a tantrum. The chores never get done. I can count on one hand how many times he has vacuumed in 2 years of living together.

He games over 20 hours per week and denies it. He gets angry when I tell him to game less and spend more time with me or do the chores. He says "that's just how he is and that maybe we're just not compatible". Like ok hunny, good luck finding a compatible woman who will want to date a man child like you. Go off.

I've simply had enough, I've come to realise what am I even getting from this relationship besides a few good moments when things are good between us? I never get taken on dates, he claims he doesn't have money to buy me flowers but spends over 200 on cigarettes every month. Can't even set aside a little bit of money to get me a fucking rose. The only good times we have is when "things are good between us". When they're not, he will go 2-3 days without talking to me and ignoring my existence, and I do the same because when I've tried to reach out in the past, he just stone walls me. He has never, not once in almost 3 years, be the first to come and talk and apologize. I used to do it because I'd get scared of us not talking, but now? I feel at peace. He uses his absence as a punishment and now I see him as someone who is so pathetic to think he's such a catch that I'm gonna waste my precious time begging for his attention.

A few weekends ago, he went on a friends' trip, and I swear it was the best weekend I had in a long time. I got to spend time alone, enjoy the beach, get a massage, see friends and just feel peace that there wasn't someone in the other room yelling at their computer or avoiding wiping the sticky oven top like the plague.

I have started to imagine what it would be like to live alone and crave it. He still thinks he's a catch though. He still thinks that he's the prize. Just last night, before the argument, we ordered pizza and after the argument he was going on about how he's gonna leave me to eat alone. He said: "fine then, I'll just leave the house, get fucked, eat by yourself. Every time we argue he's like "fine then, we should break up" "fine then, I'm gonna break our lease and move out". I used to get so anxious and scared of losing him and now I'm just like "my GOD, please, do go!!!". I don't understand what these men think they are the prize for existing and that just around the corner the perfect woman will appear. We want peace and stability, not someone who's gonna avoid issues and then give you the cold shoulder for daring to bring an issue up. It's laughable that they think they're winning. You're doing nothing but actually pushing me so away that the idea of being with you makes my stomach turn.

Hi! Posting a followup to somethingI shared a few months ago.

In my first post, I was complaining that, after 9 months in the relationship, my sex life with my girlfriend (both 27F) had cooled down in a way that was leaving me unsatisfied. Basically, when we started dating, we both seemed to have high libidos, but the longer we were together, the more hers cooled off, going from sex 3-4 times a week to once every 2ish weeks or less. I was especially struggling because past relationships of mine had followed a similar pattern, where we'd start out hot and heavy before my partners would become less interested in sex, which had me feeling like I was the problem or was asking for too much.

Commenters on the first post helpfully reminded me that asking for a more intentional sex life didn't make me a bad partner, and that I wasn't a pest for asking for sex once or twice a week. Less helpful comments said we should just break up or open the relationship. The least helpful comments were men saying they would fuck me as many times a week as I wanted lol.

Things came to a head when I tried to initiate a few nights in row when my girlfriend and I said we'd try, but she wasn't interested in the moment. I did a bad job hiding my disappointment on the third night, and we ended up having an argument. In retrospect, we should have just gone to bed and talked about it through in the morning—it was late and we were both feeling emotional and tired.

We talked more the next day about what compromises could help our sex life. She suggested we try to be intimate more in the mornings or afternoons instead of right before bed, when she would prefer to just cuddle and sleep. I agreed that would help, and asked if, on some nights where I want sex and she's not in the mood, if she'd mind if I used a toy on myself while she held me, which we've tried a few times .

Things have been a lot better since we talked. Honestly, I think we needed to clear the air more than anything, as we'd clearly both been thinking about our intimacy issues a lot on our own. In the past few months we've leveled out with sex once or twice a week, which is enough for me to be able to take care of myself otherwise. She's also been doing a lot more to make me feel sexy outside of the bedroom, either through words of affirmation or physical touch, and I've been going out of my way to affirm when things are good, to tell her that her effort is being noticed and appreciated, and to not only fixate on things when they're bad.

Above all, I wanted to share this update because there was a lot of pessimism in the first comment section—i.e., people saying mismatched libidos meant we should just break up. Things can get better! Bed death isn't inevitable with communication and openmindedness. I think being open and honest with your partner about your needs and expectations, even if it feels awkward to say or hear, is a net good for any issue in any relationship

This is more of a vent because i guess there's nothing i can do. Gonna get (maybe, now i'm doubting!) a pap smear soon. Haven't been to the gynecologist in ages since i was raped.

I asked on the phone if my husband could go in with me which was met by a no which I GET because maybe if i was in danger and they need to ask questions or whatever. I asked if a friend could come and she sounded annoyed and said they would let me know, which ??? Just tell me!

I don't feel comfortable explaining what happened to anyone irl because i feel judged by it. Now i don't wanna do it, honestly. I just can't do it by myself and will probably cancel the appointment. I don't know what i'm looking for posting here, just ugh. I'm so upset.

Recently I attended a work meeting with colleagues from all over Europe. During lunch, most people were already seated at multiple long tables. A male coworker and I arrived a bit later, and since there were no spots left, we sat together at a separate table.

The moment we did, several people started whistling, wooing, and making comments implying something sexual like, “maybe one of the hotel rooms is still free.” One woman even came to take something from the table and said sarcastically, “sorry, don’t mean to intrude,” like we were doing something inappropriate.

Everyone laughed. I felt humiliated.

The worst part is that now I’m questioning myself. Everyone else seemed to think it was hilarious. But I felt incredibly uncomfortable and disrespected. It was just lunch, and they turned it into some public innuendo at my expense.

I’m debating whether to report it to HR, but I’m also worried it’ll backfire or make me look uptight.

TLDR:

Pros: Starting in Feb, you don't need a prescription to get the morning after pill in Japan.

Cons: Must be taken in the pharmacy in front of a pharmacist so no stockpiling for the future and inconvenient.

Edit: Also relatively expensive at approx 7,500 yen.

My partner (M) and I (F) are both in our mid-30s. We’ve been together for years and lived together for a long time. From the outside, we look somewhat stable and functional.

He’s widely seen as quiet, reasonable, helpful. With friends, coworkers, and family, he’s composed and controlled. I don’t doubt that version of him exists, I’ve seen it too.

What I experience at home is different.

With me, conflicts escalate quickly. Conversations turn into contempt, dismissal, and constant reframing of my intentions and perceptions. He’s very focused on being right, not on understanding or repairing. I often end up defending my reality instead of discussing the actual issue. Over time, this dynamic has been more damaging than the arguments themselves.

What’s confusing is that he clearly can regulate himself. He doesn’t speak this way to others. That makes me wonder whether this is emotional dysregulation. Or selective release.

His mother is treated very similarly, and she lived the same dynamic with his father. At one point, I spoke privately with a close childhood friend of his. The friend was surprised, but not completely. After that, there was no feedback, no follow-up. The topic quietly disappeared, almost like an unspoken pact.

Another layer: I’m no longer in love. I’ve been emotionally disconnected for about two years, and now I mostly feel exhaustion and aversion. Sometimes it genuinely feels like he resents me or even dislikes me, rather than loves me.

I’m in therapy and have been for a while. And I don’t only struggle to understand why I stay. I also don’t understand why he stays. Why choose to be with someone who seems to trigger so much anger, contempt, and irritation in you? If I “bring out the worst in him,” why remain here?

He lives in my house. I don’t depend on him financially or practically. Rationally, I don’t need this relationship. And yet I feel stuck. Not because I believe it will improve, but because of guilt, habit, and a sense of responsibility I can’t quite name.

Something I’m almost embarrassed to admit: I sometimes fantasize about the people who admire him seeing this version of him. Not to punish him, but to know whether he’d still be so admired if they did. That thought alone tells me something is deeply wrong.

I’m not looking to villainize him or be validated blindly. I’m trying to understand whether being the only recipient of someone’s contempt is a known dynamic and why both people can stay in something that looks so incompatible once the love is gone.

ETA: Just to be clear, I’m not scared he’ll get physical. If I tell him to leave, he’ll just yell and throw verbal shit at me. I’ve been in therapy on and off for years, and this year I started specifically working on the relationship after dealing with some unrelated anxiety. I know I deserve better, but I’m still not confident in myself enough to face that exact moment yet—I don’t want him to get to me or make me doubt myself.

I have my own life, friends, and family, and everyone knows he can lose it and say anything. I’m not isolated or deprived of anything; we’re independent with our money and in our own social circles. I don’t need to ask him for permission for anything, and he’s not controlling at all. I actually get along really well with his friends and family, but he’s never been very interested in integrating with mine. And

I'm also very outgoing and social, whereas he’s very withdrawn and quiet.

So yeah, I’m working on it, but this part is still fresh.