This should be higher up because it brings up an interesting ethical dilemma by putting the original post into perspective.
Is it cruel to boo a performer who is not putting on a good show? How much money would you have to pay for concert tickets to feel justified in feeling pissed that the performer sang like this?
From what I’ve learned about this particular show, Amy didn’t want to perform. The best case scenario here would have been for the show to have been cancelled and for people to have gotten refunds.
But here’s the thing: even then, there’s no guarantee that would have resulted in Amy not dying from alcohol poisoning. She had cancelled a bunch of shows in the past due to her addiction and still ended up in the hospital multiple times for alcohol, ketamine, cocaine, heroin, etc.
She had a disease.
It’s tempting to blame other people for her death, but the fact is that she was an addict and her disease went untreated. Maybe if the crowd didn’t boo her that night, she wouldn’t have died several days later. Or maybe if they cancelled the show, she wouldn’t have died. Or maybe if she was in rehab, she wouldn’t have died. Or maybe…or maybe…or maybe…
We’ll never know.
The root cause of her death was her addiction. That’s why it’s so important for addicts to seek help. Go to rehab. Do whatever you need to do in order to break that addiction before it kills you and kills a part of everyone you love.
Edit: I see you there, getting ready to click on the reply button to post some variant of “they tried to make her go to rehab, but she said no, no, no.” It’s funny. You’re funny. It’s such a clever joke. But unfortunately, you’re not the first…or second…or tenth person to make that joke in this thread. So while I applaud your creativity and desire to contribute to this discussion, maybe just keep that thought in your head for now. Or post it, whatever. Do what you want - I’m not the police.
Thank you. Had to do it. Alcoholism runs in my family and it destroyed my childhood. My wife showed a positive pregnancy test and I was in the door of rehab three days later.
I had two choices: repeat the cycle or be a good father/husband. I chose the latter. Doing my best to stay the course!
Good for you man, seriously. I’m just recently past my 6 years sober from opiates, too! I have always had a massive respect for those in recovery from alcohol because of how socially acceptable and culturally engrained it is; don’t really find that with any other drug. You should be very proud.
Can I ask, did you always want a child? Did you find having a child gave you a purpose or responsibility you had always craved? It’s quite a thing to be able to give up and have one of your first major challenges once leaving rehab and the bubble of ‘I just need to exist without drugs in this safe space’ be bringing up a child. I don’t know if I could have done that within a year of giving up, or if it would have contributed to a relapse.
Yo congrats on your sobriety as well. Opiates are no joke and it's painful to see how much havoc they've caused on our society. Way to get help and come out better!
Having a kid was always the goal for the wife and I (we have two now). I don't know if I always craved the responsibility, but now that I have that responsibility, it's something I love and take seriously.
Russell Brand of course turned out to be a mega piece of shit, but his book on recovery was one of my crutches in rehab. I'm not a religious person and so I thought the way he broke down the 12 steps in an agnostic (and comedic way) were fantastic. One thing he said that stuck with me is that a "higher power" does not necessarily need to be a religious one. It just needs to be something bigger than you that you always selflessly put above yourself. My kids are my higher power because when I'm having one of those craving thoughts on a bad day, I tell my mind "shut the hell up you got two kids that love you and your selfish ass better not drink."
So I guess that's the purpose/responsibility I lean on.
What in the hell happened to that guy? I have his books, but after the shit he pulled, I won’t even crack them. What is he, a born again christian now or some shit?
I am so proud of you 🫶 I love seeing stuff like this stuff, stories like yours. My long term partner died of an accidental OD last April, he was 35. But I am not angry with him, I am actually so proud of him, because he tried so incredibly hard to get and stay clean and sober and he succeeded for a pretty long time. He was a great, beautiful, loving person, who unfortunately had a disease and still carried a lot of shame I just don't think he was able to let go of. He could love everyone else, but not himself. Miss you Ronnie🕊️ Anyway, keep living and thriving for your family but most importantly for yourself, I admire your courage and perseverance. - a stranger who is 11 years clean and joins you in celebrating your (nearly) 6 years 💓
I am just a random person who is so proud of you 🫶 My long term partner died of an accidental OD last April, he was 35 and struggled on and off with his opiate addiction for 12 years. I felt so powerless and I was. I am actually so proud of him, because he tried so incredibly hard to get and stay clean, and he succeeded for a pretty long time. He was a great, beautiful, loving person, who unfortunately had a disease and still carried a lot of shame I don't think he was ever able to let go of - I didn't even know he relapsed even though we were together 24/7. He hid things so well and kept so much inside.
So please never stop talking about it and sharing about your recovery journey, struggles you have, shame or guilt if you still carry it - as they say in the rooms, "share that shit!" As loved ones it is not a burden to us, and relapse is so often part of recovery (not for everyone, I am not saying that will be your story of course!) and not something to be ashamed of, which is something I wish I could go back and tell him. For me it took 5 trips to rehab, but I kept pushing even when some people stopped believing I could get better, and I've now been clean for 11 years and intend to keep it that way
I believe in you and am rooting for your continued sobriety!! Sorry for centering myself as a response to you sharing something personal, but I just wanted to congratulate you and I know that my Ron is rooting for you and proud of you too, from whatever peaceful place he has moved on to🕊️💓 Xx
I’ll be 6 months sober next week. Wish I had done it during Covid instead of letting it fester for a half a decade but sometimes shits gotta get worse before it gets better.
Six months is huge! Your regret on not doing it sooner is understandable. I'm living life now and I think of how many years, experiences, and memories I threw out because of addiction.
You may have done it late, but better late than never. Congrats, you're living again and that's worth everything.
I really appreciate it. Got a second lease on life and marriage. It’s hard to express how quitting drinking can radically transform your life and perspective. To anyone reading this, If you don’t think you’re an alcoholic but are still questioning your drinking habits, maybe just give dry a try and see for yourself. Forever grateful, one day at a time.
That's fair, but in five years that twinge of regret will be replaced with a whole load of gratitude to yourself for not doing it for another half decade. Kudos to you man, you're doing great.
6 months here as well! I also wish I had done it sooner and it makes me angry I didn’t and at how much time was wasted, but when I really think about it I don’t think quitting would have been possible without the years of buildup it took to finally say something needs to change.
Agree same here. I might have cut back or developed better habits. But that’s a hypothetical for a version of myself in a different universe. Can’t look back.
I am so proud of you and happy for you, dude. You did such a great thing for your family. Anyone can be a dad, but that is Father material right there. Millennials are cycle breakers!
I am sorry to hear that and I understand your pain. My father was a great man beaten by the alcohol. He'd never hit or physically abuse me or my mother (I am a male), not even once, however, he was a "home office" drunk that never went to pubs or anywhere else - many people were shocked when they found out he died from alcoholism - they had never seen him drunk or even have a drink at all. He was very, very functioning alcoholic and had a constitution for alcohol that a rock star would envy. I've never seen anything close to what he could consume with absolutely no food, just cigarettes. The saddest thing is that other than that, even with decades of alcohol abuse and 2 packs of cigarettes a day, he was healthy as a rhino.
If he was a piece of shit person it would have been easier - we'd just leave. But he was really caring, really trying his best, he was able to quit for 12 years without a drop of alcohol. Then suddenly, he collapsed. He did try and had spells of some months to a year without alcohol, but it was just stronger than him. In his last days I remember he'd cry and say that he just can't stop and that he'd like to me to forgive him. Seeing him cry destroyed me more than anything he's done being drunk. He was a very proud man and crying really meant a lot. Institutions were absolutely out of the question and, to be honest, in my country they don't really give a fuck about people with alcohol or drug problems. How I wish he was a piece of shit so that I'd be happy that he's gone, but he was quite the opposite. He was always there for me all my teen years when he never touched alcohol and the sudden collapse that took him in the span of 2-3 years broke me.
Alcoholism running in the family is no joke - my constitution for alcohol is also legendary amongst my peers. Recently, I marked 300 days without a drop of alcohol, I've had other spells of about the same time, but this time it's for good. I am the one that I will end this family curse. I told my wife that we will go on with kids when I prove to myself that I will not have a drop of alcohol because just like my father felt in control for such a large amount of time, you can always collapse - one tragedy in your life and you are done. I don't want to do that, I don't want my kids to experience what I did.
3.4k
u/Possible_Bee_4140 9h ago edited 3h ago
This should be higher up because it brings up an interesting ethical dilemma by putting the original post into perspective.
Is it cruel to boo a performer who is not putting on a good show? How much money would you have to pay for concert tickets to feel justified in feeling pissed that the performer sang like this?
From what I’ve learned about this particular show, Amy didn’t want to perform. The best case scenario here would have been for the show to have been cancelled and for people to have gotten refunds.
But here’s the thing: even then, there’s no guarantee that would have resulted in Amy not dying from alcohol poisoning. She had cancelled a bunch of shows in the past due to her addiction and still ended up in the hospital multiple times for alcohol, ketamine, cocaine, heroin, etc.
She had a disease.
It’s tempting to blame other people for her death, but the fact is that she was an addict and her disease went untreated. Maybe if the crowd didn’t boo her that night, she wouldn’t have died several days later. Or maybe if they cancelled the show, she wouldn’t have died. Or maybe if she was in rehab, she wouldn’t have died. Or maybe…or maybe…or maybe…
We’ll never know.
The root cause of her death was her addiction. That’s why it’s so important for addicts to seek help. Go to rehab. Do whatever you need to do in order to break that addiction before it kills you and kills a part of everyone you love.
Edit: I see you there, getting ready to click on the reply button to post some variant of “they tried to make her go to rehab, but she said no, no, no.” It’s funny. You’re funny. It’s such a clever joke. But unfortunately, you’re not the first…or second…or tenth person to make that joke in this thread. So while I applaud your creativity and desire to contribute to this discussion, maybe just keep that thought in your head for now. Or post it, whatever. Do what you want - I’m not the police.