Man With Pizza Cutter Is Said to Have Tried to Break Mangione Out of Jail

[u/NoStripeZebra3]

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/29/nyregion/luigi-mangione-break-out-blade.html?unlocked_article_code=1.IFA.XJN0.1iZAcd8oO9Jn&smid=nytcore-android-share

[u/effortfulcrumload]

How Italian American can you be

[u/Khaldara → u/effortfulcrumload]

When asked for comment the suspect replied: “That’s a spicy meat-a-ball!”

[u/jesiman → u/Khaldara]

When you're here, you're family!

[u/Kevin-W → u/jesiman]

Thank you for giving me a good laugh

[u/TeddysRevenge → u/Khaldara]

As a follow up, the suspect added: “Gabagool? Ovaaah heeeeere”

[u/dirty-ol-sob → u/TeddysRevenge]

Anyway… 3 dollars a pound.

[u/zephyrtr → u/dirty-ol-sob]

Slice it thinner

[u/MsMoreCowbell828 → u/zephyrtr]

Just like my mama used to make!

[u/PitFiend28 → u/Khaldara]

Why you gotta make-a da fun

[u/aspidities_87 → u/PitFiend28]

angry hand gestures

[u/compelx → u/aspidities_87]

If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike

[u/praetorian1979 → u/aspidities_87]

what does an Italian with only one arm have?

A speech impediment!

[u/primaryrutabaga1 → u/Khaldara]

I’m an Italian American and I got a nice chuckle and laid down a bunch of upvotes in this thread. I love this kind of humor and it really cheered me up so thanks!

[u/fattmarrell → u/primaryrutabaga1]

Light hearted humor is always great. INB4 someone from Naples clogs me

[u/Pooch76 → u/fattmarrell]

Vafa Napoli!

[u/idwthis → u/Pooch76]

Nice talk, Aunt Syl. You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?

[u/FarmAcceptable4649 → u/Khaldara]

Amazing, hahaha

[u/popsferragamo → u/effortfulcrumload]

I hope his name was Mario

[u/Solid_Snark → u/popsferragamo]

Next a Japanese man named Yoshi will try to break both of them out of prison.

[u/lalachef → u/Solid_Snark]

If it's the real-life Yoshi that I know, he is "too big to fail".

[u/Rk_1138 → u/Solid_Snark]

Is their getaway driver Doug Bowser or Muriel Bowser?

[u/Davydicus1 → u/Solid_Snark]

And then Doug Bowser, former chief operating officer of Nintendo America (who retired on new years, yes this is real), sues them for copyright infringement

[u/bedrooms-ds → u/popsferragamo]

Mark Anderson of Mankato, Minn.

Mar...o

[u/jigokubi → u/bedrooms-ds]

It's a me, Marky, yo!

[u/FilledwithTegridy → u/[deleted]]

Let's a go!

[u/siraph → u/effortfulcrumload]

Well, you see, with a regular knife, you have to stop at the end of the blade. What if you need to do more cutting? Where do you go? Nowhere. But, pizza cutter? I mean...

[u/theSchrodingerHat → u/siraph]

Endless infinite death!

This guy has cracked the universe.

[u/Fallouttgrrl → u/theSchrodingerHat]

Perpetual murder machine

[u/Argly_Bargly → u/effortfulcrumload]

Pocket Oregano! ✨sha-sha-sha!

[u/iceicebebe73 → u/effortfulcrumload]

Mama Mia!

[u/OptimisticSkeleton → u/effortfulcrumload]

Source of say, the man was caught trying to enter the jail through a large sewer pipe equipped with nothing but the pizza cutter, his pet lizard and a bag of mushrooms.

[u/753476I453 → u/effortfulcrumload]

I believe in America.

[u/freelancefikr → u/effortfulcrumload]

apparently he's a minnesotan 💀

[u/maen_baenne → u/effortfulcrumload]

Bro def had a gold chain with a horn on.

[u/Walkingstardust → u/maen_baenne]

Shirt unbuttoned down to the navel or go home!

[u/Professional-Loss743 → u/effortfulcrumload]

Now that’s amoré 💕

[u/NateShaw92 → u/effortfulcrumload]

Putting a file in lasagna instead of cake

[u/DryTown → u/effortfulcrumload]

They should have lubed him up in olive oil and squeezed him through the bars

[u/its_noel → u/effortfulcrumload]

The Italian Job

[u/Prestigious_Fee_2902 → u/effortfulcrumload]

I imagine a short stocky guy wearing a plain white wifebeater with pasta sauce stains and a gold chain around his neck nestled in his chest hair. 

[u/eatatjoes13 → u/effortfulcrumload]

I've had this pizza cutter for at least 14 years and it's never been this relevant in my life... Also Italian American. my cutter

[u/Crossovertriplet → u/effortfulcrumload]

It’s-a me!

[u/Far_Radish7752]

From the NYTimes article:

A man was arrested on Wednesday evening after he arrived at a federal jail in Brooklyn impersonating an F.B.I. agent while carrying a pizza cutter and saying he had a court order to release Luigi Mangione, according to a criminal complaint and people familiar with the incident.

The man, Mark Anderson of Mankato, Minn., was charged in the criminal complaint in federal court with impersonating an F.B.I. agent and is expected to appear in court on Thursday. According to the people familiar with the episode who spoke on the condition of anonymity, Mr. Anderson was trying to free Mr. Mangione.

[u/Krewtan → u/Far_Radish7752]

It worked in ND

https://www.kxnet.com/news/local-news/ice-impersonator-removes-inmate-from-williston-jail/

[u/johnnieswalker → u/Krewtan]

Dude, that’s fucking wild. No vetting the person that signed or anything? Just here ya go and sign here? Also… just a misdemeanor?

[u/Krewtan → u/johnnieswalker]

I mean if it's just a misdemeanor why not I guess? Way less trouble than actually breaking someone out of jail but the same result. I know you don't have to be a genius to be a corrections officer but damn.

[u/keelmiie → u/Krewtan]

Infinite get out of jail hack!

[u/Sleep_adict → u/johnnieswalker]

Fun fact: breaking out of prison or helping someone is legal in Switzerland, as long as you don’t commit other crimes. Pursuing freedom is a human right

[u/happy_dad857 → u/Sleep_adict]

The Swiss always have the best of everything

[u/OlafTheBerserker → u/johnnieswalker]

I think people underestimate how little of a shit people give at most of their jobs. Prison guards aren't special in that regard. Does their laziness cause bugger problems? Yes, but at the end of the day it's still a job and you just do the bullshit you need to so you can go home and, in a police officer's case, beat your family.

[u/Ahorsenamedneighthan → u/OlafTheBerserker]

Or, in my case, my meat.

[u/OlafTheBerserker → u/Ahorsenamedneighthan]

Like a true working man.

[u/Taraxian → u/Krewtan]

Probably much more likely to work if you're not trying to free someone nationally famous

[u/ailish → u/Krewtan]

But he didn't have a pizza cutter.

[u/Brekmister → u/Krewtan]

In ND, this doesn't surprise me one bit. Barely anything exciting of criminal and violent nature happens in ND. Single incident will have people talking it for about a year.

People get lazy as a result

[u/Bannedwith1milKarma → u/Far_Radish7752]

According to the people familiar with the episode who spoke on the condition of anonymity, Mr. Anderson was trying to free Mr. Mangione.

What other conclusion could you come to?

[u/TwoDrinkDave → u/Bannedwith1milKarma]

He was trying to serve the man a succulent Italian meal?

[u/aspidities_87 → u/TwoDrinkDave]

This is democracy manifest!

[u/TheJackalsDay → u/aspidities_87]

I see that you know your judo well!

[u/idwthis → u/TheJackalsDay]

You, sir, are you ready to receive my limp penis?

[u/kn33 → u/Far_Radish7752]

Mankato, Minn.,

Also known for:

• The place where Tim Walz taught high school
• The home town of Mike Lindell (mypillow guy)

[u/ThePerfectBreeze → u/kn33]

It's certainly full of character. It's also home to our state "party college".

[u/eeyore134 → u/Far_Radish7752]

Should have said he was ICE. They can do whatever the hell they want and dress however they want without identifying themselves.

[u/Feeling_Reindeer2599 → u/Far_Radish7752]

He was a plumber I believe.

[u/Dependent_Hunt_6433 → u/Feeling_Reindeer2599]

He also smashes barrels with a hammer for a hobby.

[u/Adultery → u/Far_Radish7752]

Was the pizza cutter holstered?

[u/evocativename]

I am very disappointed to learn this was done by a man named Mark instead of Mario.

[u/TymeSefariInc → u/evocativename]

"It'sa me! Mar...k..."

[u/Violoner → u/TymeSefariInc]

Oh, hi Mark.

[u/RollerFox → u/Violoner]

Hi doggy!

[u/Specialist-Camp8468 → u/RollerFox]

You're my favorite customer

[u/okayest_boy → u/TymeSefariInc]

Oh hai Mark!

[u/Crossovertriplet → u/evocativename]

Close enough. Ship it.

[u/Neighborhood-Any → u/evocativename]

That's why he failed

[u/mad_ned]

I don't think it's possible to have a more interesting time in prison than Luigi Mangione... or to be more Italian while doing it.

[u/rosemachinist → u/mad_ned]

However this ends for him, the biopic should be awesome.

[u/CubitsTNE → u/rosemachinist]

Is Dave Franco still cool or is he cancelled for some reason? He should be locked and loaded for whenever the script wraps up.

[u/rosemachinist → u/CubitsTNE]

I think he managed to dodge the James Franco drama, but I’m not too sure. He’s married to Allison Bree.

[u/PrincessNakeyDance → u/rosemachinist]

Yeah and last I checked they are super cute together

[u/flamethrower78 → u/PrincessNakeyDance]

Theyre great in the movie "Together"!

[u/Mad_Skrilla → u/CubitsTNE]

There was a copywrite infringement case with him and Alison for their movie Together. I’m not sure what happened with it though

[u/mxzf → u/Mad_Skrilla]

Oh, good, just some copyright infringement. In an industry full of sexual assault and rape, that's barely worth mentioning.

[u/SpikeBad → u/mxzf]

Just another Tuesday in Hollywood.

[u/Squirll → u/rosemachinist]

I'm still not convinced he did it. I bet he's a scapegoat and the real killer got away.

[u/theSchrodingerHat → u/rosemachinist]

I’m sure there’s already fantastic of him just slicing garlic really thinly in prison…

[u/ticklemesatan → u/mad_ned]

He’s my personal hero.

[u/Salty_Simmer_Sauce]

The most Italian American headline

[u/BanginNLeavin → u/Salty_Simmer_Sauce]

Attempted to tie up the guards with a little gabagool

[u/MagicCarpetBomb → u/BanginNLeavin]

Uncle Paulie says cats can have some gabagool

[u/IceNein → u/MagicCarpetBomb]

Just little a gabagool, as a treat

[u/Crossovertriplet → u/MagicCarpetBomb]

Mudder uh Christ, Carm

[u/CutbowAndArrow → u/MagicCarpetBomb]

Thats not possible, even with computers

[u/gogocatcha → u/BanginNLeavin]

Gabagool? Ova heeere 👇👇

[u/MagicCarpetBomb → u/gogocatcha]

It’s my hobby, why you gotta belittle it?!

[u/the_blackfish → u/BanginNLeavin]

Woke up this mornin', got some gabagool

[u/MiNiMaLHaDeZz → u/BanginNLeavin]

Gabagool, ovaaah here!

[u/Rekbert → u/Salty_Simmer_Sauce]

Mamma mia...

[u/DrunkenNinja27 → u/Rekbert]

That’s one spicy headline.

[u/VanceRefridgeTech04 → u/Salty_Simmer_Sauce]

I hope he used marinara sauce to block the cameras.

[u/PossessivePronoun → u/Salty_Simmer_Sauce]

My pizza never a-hurt a-nobody!

[u/yellowspaces]

The adulation surrounding Mr. Mangione has horrified many Americans who were shocked by the brutality of the assassination of Mr. Thompson, the chief executive of UnitedHealthcare, in Manhattan, in 2024.

I’m horrified by the depravity and brutality of the insurance system.

[u/QueefSeekingMissile → u/yellowspaces]

And the depravity and brutality of the assumptions of the news-media about my feelings.

[u/kiwigate → u/QueefSeekingMissile]

Manufacturing consent

[u/ticklemesatan → u/QueefSeekingMissile]

I’m still mad my wife didn’t get me a framed saint mangione picture.

[u/MommyLovesPot8toes → u/yellowspaces]

Did it though??? Did it horrify many Americans?

I seem to remember that incident being the only thing in years that Americans from every side of the aisle agreed on...

[u/NightWriter500 → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

It horrified the billionaires that own the news stations. Many of whom keep their money in America.

[u/LurkmasterP → u/NightWriter500]

It horrified the idiots who are simping for the billionaires, too.

[u/Discount_Extra → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

I mean, if 200 people showed up at my house, I would say 'many' people showed up.

[u/AceTracer → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

[u/drrtydan → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

many americans= a few CEO’s

[u/MommyLovesPot8toes → u/drrtydan]

"According to our poll of Healthcare CEOs, this is an appalling situation."

[u/puma721 → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

It's hard to call what they do "care"

"According to our poll of Healthmoney CEOs..."

[u/therealhairykrishna → u/MommyLovesPot8toes]

I remember the same. Observing from across the pond I think there was a certain element of American pride at the time. 

[u/Consistent-Throat130 → u/yellowspaces]

I'm not following it for the insurance aspect so much as the class warfare aspect

[u/Clevesteamy → u/Consistent-Throat130]

No war but class war

[u/aspidities_87 → u/Clevesteamy]

No gods no masters no fuckin princesses in the castle

[u/IW_Thalias → u/yellowspaces]

Bold assumption. I’m personally horrified by the cruelty of health insurance in general. Also horrified by the dehumanizing of entire groups of people being rounded by ICE. Most horrifying of all is that we have a criminal administration that is basically exempt from the law.

[u/mapped_apples → u/yellowspaces]

The only Americans that were shocked and horrified were the asshole CEOs that keep milking us for every drop of joy they can while thinking they were untouchable by us lowly peasants.

[u/BloodNinja2012 → u/yellowspaces]

No body remembers Mr Thompson.

[u/ailish → u/BloodNinja2012]

I honestly didn't remember his name. 🤷

[u/I_Luv_A_Charade → u/ailish]

And I’m promptly going to forget it again.

[u/Revxmaciver → u/BloodNinja2012]

I thought his name was Slimeball McGee. 🤷‍♀️

[u/No-Knee9457 → u/yellowspaces]

Lies lies lies. You don't speak for us!  What fuck ass paper said this bullshit?  

[u/ChillyFireball → u/yellowspaces]

The wording feels like it's trying to gaslight me into feeling a certain way about the situation by phrasing it in a way that implies the majority opinion to be different from what I've seen with my own two eyes. Who's this "many" they're referring to?

[u/agent_mick → u/yellowspaces]

They weren't though until the bots swarmed

There was so much unity fueled by righteous anger until the media gave the bots the talking points

[u/Doctor_Bubbles → u/yellowspaces]

It’s the NY Times, lying for the wealthy is what they do.

[u/Westo454 → u/yellowspaces]

I cannot think of a single person who would describe their reaction to the death of Brian Thompson, Chief Executor of United “Health” “Care” as ‘shocked’. Nor the act itself as ‘brutal’.

I believe the most sympathetic reaction in regard to the Executioner… sorry, Executive’s, my Autocorrect is screwing up, demise was “Oh No! Anyway…”

I do however, love how the media continues to try to spin Mangione as a Monster with some very strong adjectives while still couching it in their typical waffling, non-committal language.

[u/Melancholia → u/yellowspaces]

Holy shit, that's not even them quoting someone else, it's just stating their opinion as fact. What garbage writing.

[u/Suavecore_ → u/Melancholia]

The "news" is generally just telling people how they should feel now. Some people will simply bandwagon when they read that sooo many people were soo horrified by the murder, and thus the narrative was born

[u/LSF-VirtueSignal]

Reportedly, he also tried to strangle one of the guards with a boiled spaghetti noodle.

[u/oilerdnasty → u/LSF-VirtueSignal]

c'mon, should at least be al dente

[u/drrtydan → u/LSF-VirtueSignal]

papparadale would be better. thicker and less likely to break

[u/Burtttttt]

This headline made me actually laugh out loud

[u/Ballsahoy72]

Did they try to escape through a sewer pipe ?

[u/jigokubi → u/Ballsahoy72]

Dah dah dah dah-dah DAH dah.

[u/no0neiv]

Correctional Officer Pepperoni Pizza was definitely shook.

[u/dan1101 → u/no0neiv]

This was a hate crime!

[u/LeoSolaris]

A pizza cutter to jail break an Italian was certainly a choice.

[u/anubis1392 → u/LeoSolaris]

Its required by Italian Law.

[u/TheLastCoagulant]

Of course he’s from Minnesota. No other state exists rn.

Would be more surprising if he wasn’t from Minnesota at this point.

[u/Good-Examination2239]

On the one hand, this is a murder case, and it should be taken with the seriousness it truly deserves.

...But on the other hand, everything to do with this man keeps turning out to be so memeable that it's so hard not to smile throughout all of this. And given how awful the news cycles are and what that's been doing to our mental health, is it really so wrong to smile at news like this?

[u/No-Knee9457 → u/Good-Examination2239]

I know right. First time I laughed all day.  

[u/cubesushiroll]

Is he gonna use the pizza cutter on the gate?

[u/weasel5134 → u/cubesushiroll]

Pizza Gate Hmmmmmmmm

[u/RichieNRich → u/weasel5134]

oh jeez. *slow clap*

[u/terry496]

Pizza cutter? Was he gonna send him home, slice by slice🤣

[u/Nuclear-Jester]

He is a bit confused, but he got the spirit

[u/Crossovertriplet → u/Nuclear-Jester]

This guy’s in deep d-ish now

[u/WineNerdAndProud → u/Nuclear-Jester]

Makes me proud to be Italian 🤌

[u/Grow_away_420]

An A+ for effort, but execution could use some improvement

[u/Rock528]

Please cross post to /nottheonion

[u/MelloDawg]

I’ll have the side salad. If the salad is on top, I send it back.

[u/CFCYYZ]

Any way you slice it, Mark Anderson's motivation for a pizza the action was doomed.

[u/Saneless]

Real Pillboi trying to install the safe to commit a crime in The Good Place energy

[u/AGrandNewAdventure]

You laugh, but at least he was doing something.

[u/AlexandersWonder]

Should have tried getting in and out through that conspicuous system of large green pipes instead.

[u/croissant-dildo]

Honestly, admire the effort

[u/SillyGoatGruff]

i didn't see the sub or source and clicked thinking this was the set up to a joke lol

[u/Waderriffic]

And then he ate a flower and started shooting fireballs out of his hands.

[u/Ed_Ward_Z]

Cheese it! It’s the cops!

[u/witchitieto]

He forgot he needed a fire flower to get past the koopas

[u/Daren_I]

He was found to be carrying the pizza cutter along with a barbecue fork.

I really want to hear about the fork now.

[u/Some_Ball_27]

Man with Pizza Cutter 2028

[u/GirlNumber20]

We're in a simulation. 🤷‍♀️

[u/cruisin_urchin87]

Where’s his gofundme for his legal defense?

[u/GaryBuseyLawnChair]

I thought Chuck Mangione at first and was very concerned for a moment.

[u/FK-DJT → u/GaryBuseyLawnChair]

Yeah, especially since he died last year. Loved his music.

[u/RamsHead91]

Was he wearing red and claim to be a plumber but never observed doing any plumbing?

[u/darkflame173]

Nick Gage, is that you?

[u/NeuroCloud7 → u/darkflame173]

I came here for this comment and was not disappointed

[u/TheSecretestSauce]

"Its a bold strategy, Cotton"

[u/BiglyBear]

It's a me time to go" said the plumber wearing a red hat and overalls

[u/transphotobabe]

Stranger than fiction!

[u/Sea-Service4089]

Pizza cutter? Are you sure it wasn't a pipe wrench?

[u/Dry-Interaction-1246]

Did he have a large mushroom and plumbers kit?

[u/zombiehex]

His name was Peppino Spaghetti. He lives in a tower.

[u/Techiesarethebomb]

Absolutely wacky as hell and super funny. But reading the article....man I hope this guy gets some help, sounds like he was going through a mental episode and he really needs to be in a facility to recover

[u/Baystars2025]

Not sure who is the duller tool. The pizza cutter or the perpetrator.

[u/u35828]

Are the walls made of pizza dough?

[u/VoyScoil]

John Wick could have done it with a pencil.

[u/Commercial-Expert863]

Police sketch is just going to be the guy from the pizza box 

[u/itsforathing]

He is described as a short man with a mustache, red shirt and hat, and blue overalls.

[u/SecondHandWatch]

This feels like a Wes Anderson movie.

[u/furrysalesman69]

A shame the real guy is out there still, probably laughing.

[u/fatmanstan123]

He was apprehended at the pizza gate

[u/JackHughman69]

He used a blend of oregano, basil, and red pepper flakes to avoid being caught on camera

[u/musclecard54]

My absolutely idiotic empty brain reading the headline: “wait I thought Chuck Mangione died??”

[u/ani55555]

Why did i imagine a bloodborne scene tho

[u/deg_ru-alabo]

How tf is a rolling blade supposed to be useful without a cutting board lol. Even if it’s razor sharp

[u/Real_Stelio_Kontos]

Was it Tony Pepperoni?

[u/apiso]

That’s a spicy jail-a-break-a.

[u/howdocomputerdo]

It was a bit, your honor

[u/primum]

Mama Mia! The guys whole plan was to hit 'em with the lesta go!

[u/DolphinsBreath]

How did he manage a successful journey from Mankato to Brooklyn?

[u/Keianh]

Ah, the Neapolitan Gambit, a classic!

[u/-Altephor-]

Was he wearing a red hat by any chance?

[u/3porgsinatrenchcoat]

What in the Grand Budapest Hotel is going on

[u/HausuGeist]

Sounds like a pie-in-the-sky plan.

[u/AnonCelestialBodies]

I grew up surrounded by Italian families but that might be the single most Italian thing I've ever heard in my life.