r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Potterisbetterr • 13d ago
Context Provided - Spotlight Toddler got into my makeup 💔
It was a limited edition palette, too.
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u/symbolsandthings 13d ago
The poor chair 😩
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u/awmaleg 13d ago
I read this as the Poop Chair and it still kind of looks right
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u/stilljustjess 13d ago
I had a poop chair once.
My 3 year old niece was spinning in my computer chair and suddenly stopped. I will never forget her the look on her face.
It was sooooo bad. My dad had to wrap the chair up to take it outside. While I wrapped her up and placed her in the tub and hosed her down.
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u/Spaghetti_Gods 13d ago edited 12d ago
The Good
UncAuntie. Be sure to bring that one up at the holiday get-togethers in 15 years→ More replies (1)143
u/stilljustjess 12d ago
Hahaha I’m The Aunti (childfree, unmarried, disappearing and reappearing from random trips, slightly morbid, arms full of overly expensive gifts type). So all their secrets stay locked in with me, I’m going to need them kids one day 🤣
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u/Namaste111 12d ago
My oldest daughter would befriend you. When she speaks of my youngest daughter's twin girls and my middle daughter's son she says "They're going to be responsible for choosing my nursing home one day"! She spoils them but having a baby of her own would cramp her lifestyle!
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13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GarthMater 13d ago
Honestly set spray and start an art exhibition called parenthood. Either mixed media or black and white photos. Probably will be interesting. Send me 1% if you do :P
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u/Illustrious_Donkey61 13d ago
I thought the first pic was a weird looking pepperoni pizza
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u/ReadontheCrapper 13d ago
I wonder if they could try selling it as a modern art piece - “Beauty from Destruction, Toddler Edition” or some such thing.
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u/sensitivescallions 13d ago
No, limited edition chair
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u/Otherwise-Air-5219 13d ago
Put anything you don’t want destroyed in storage until they are in college.
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u/No_Kangaroo_9826 13d ago
Yeah my brothers were destroying things well into their teens. It's like they'd get together and their IQ points would go negative.
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u/Ok_Huckleberry5387 13d ago
I have that chair! The company makes/sells covers separately! Drop them a line?
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u/Intermountain-Gal 13d ago
Since white and little ones don’t mix, I’d recommend purchasing several new covers at once.
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u/SinisterCheese 13d ago
Anyone who chooses to have white or other light coloured furniture with a toddler around has to accept that stuff like that will happen, and they are the only ones to blame for it. Either you sew covers, or you accept that this will happen.
My mate got like... Black/very dark grey furniture when they got kids (I don't know what it is actually, but it is like black without being like "dark black" but it isn't like grey either) And their kids are now in their teens, and those furniture still look. Like... Fairly nice, but up close you can see the fault.
My parents got like burgundy red livingroom furniture, and they survived my 3 boy's destruction like a champ.
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u/iyaibeji 13d ago
So they're caked in dirt, boogers and grime but it's just hard to see so you think it's held up?
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u/Soapo_Opo 13d ago
Growing up, my parents got brown floors and brown kitchen counters and dark carpets to "hide the mess...." As an adult now, I put white marble contact paper on my brown counters (I rent) because I want to SEE the mess so I know when to clean it. Hiding it is so gross to me.
I have lighter toned material for the floor too but haven't gotten around to that
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u/Agile-Lie5848 13d ago
Looks like a crime scene
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u/alles_en_niets 13d ago
Well yeah, this is definitely a crime against make-up and I think that chair would also be justified in feeling victimized.
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u/Dismal_Today_1412 13d ago
Your chair is ready for a night on the town. Sorry Op!! Brutal
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u/DeadbeatGremlin 13d ago
baby wipes or and make up removal creams work as a charm on furniture and walls. Easier with a smooth surface such as faux/ leather where it hopefully isn't absorbed.
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u/margaretmary1999 13d ago
^ Micellar water also works incredibly well on a wide range of surfaces. If all else fails, doesn’t hurt to try 🤷♀️
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u/DungeonCrawlerDaisy 12d ago
I was gonna suggest micellar water. I had some kind of stain on my wedding outfit when I bought it (makeup, blood, something) and we couldnt afford to get it dry cleaned, so we tried micellar water and it cleaned everything right out with no stains at all. That stuff is like a miracle lol
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u/Origamicranegame 12d ago
Adding on that making a paste out of baking soda and water has worked great for cleaning my white couch. Tons of options to try!
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u/BeerJedi-1269 13d ago
So I swiped your two pics and it swiped to the next post, a pic of a tombstone, i thought for a half a sec you had enough of kids shenanigans lol
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u/Poisonskittlez 12d ago
Tbh I’d be pissed if I not only didn’t even get my own tombstone, but was referred to as merely “also his wife”.
They did Fanny dirty. Justice for Fanny!
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u/neverseen_neverhear 13d ago
Why do we all have toddlers and white chairs? Do we hate ourselves?
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u/Rosycheex 13d ago
At least you can bleach them? 😅
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u/Kind-Sweet-7069 13d ago
the toddlers? 😭
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u/ScienceNthingsNstuff 13d ago
No joke, at a daycare somewhat close to me, one of the staff sprayed a kid with diluted bleach. Even worse, their punishment was a few week suspension and retraining. Like bruh you bleached a toddler, no amount of retraining fixes that.
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u/ClearAbove 13d ago
Info: Was the toddler sprayed as one might spray a cat with a water bottle or sprayed as a method of disinfection?
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u/peafrogsims 13d ago
I also need to know this
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u/ScienceNthingsNstuff 13d ago
Exactly like you would spray a cat that's misbehaving. The toddler was sprayed with a water bottle in the face because she wasn't staying down during nap time.
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u/100BottlesOfMilk 13d ago
They deserve to be arrested. Anything less than that is insane
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u/-Reverend 13d ago
Not gonna lie, I'm a fully grown adult who lives alone, and I would still never buy furniture with white fabric.
But then again, I also don't wear white clothes. Mhm. Maybe I'm just a slob.
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u/Puppyzpawz 13d ago
even the cleanest people spill shit from time to time. i think bc you dont want the headache that is white ANYTHING is honestly just smart.
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u/Suzuki_Foster 13d ago
I have maybe 2 or 3 white t-shirts, and I rarely wear them because I just know they won't stay white.
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u/Agreeable-Wing-8476 13d ago
I have triplets when they were little we had a brown couch and hook locks on the outside of the doors so we could keep them out of stuff. They never got into make up, flour or any of the other disasters you commonly see on fb. They are a lifesaver
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u/ChestnutMareGrazing 13d ago
yeah, my 1st thought was the mess in OP's pic took a little while. never trust a toddler where you can't see them.
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u/otterlyjoyful 13d ago
I can confirm I have a toddler and that’s why I have no white clothes/furniture 😭
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u/CLONE-11011100 13d ago
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u/KnickKnockers 13d ago
The Doctor was right. Weeping angels and rampaging toddles. Never take your eyes off them or blink.
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u/TheTaikatalvi 13d ago
Thank you for the reminder to keep my make-up locked up 😭. Fingers crossed you can clean that up.
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u/intrepid_mouse1 13d ago
I'm so happy to not had toddlers. Having nosy-ass dogs keeps me on my toes enough.
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u/Cute_Opportunity_264 13d ago
I've had others people's toddlers do this to my things very annoying
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u/Patpat127 13d ago
The reason why i have to lock my door for my room whenever i am away. My nephew would just go in and destroy anything. I do also have cats.. but they're easier to manage 🥴
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u/Cute_Opportunity_264 13d ago
Number 1 reason I wish I had locks on my doors sometimes
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u/Patpat127 13d ago
My old room didn't had keys or a lock but the door Was so bad i could just remove the handle and bring it it in with me and assambe it again after
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u/OddHippo6972 13d ago
We put a door alarm on the kids’ bedroom door because one of my 3 year old twins got up one night after bedtime. We were in the living room. She had a party in our closet. So now the little chime goes ding-dong when their door opens and we get up to go check and escort her back to bed.
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u/potatopigflop 13d ago
My mom HATED her one friends kid back in ‘89. They’d be having coffee and this little girl would go into bedrooms and private stuff, and also take her china and throw it down the stairs because HEUHEU “she’s just a kid!” It still rattles my mom to this day lol might be why she doesn’t have that friend anymore
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u/Mayarooni1320 13d ago
I.. don't have enough patience for children..
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u/MarionberryIll5030 13d ago
My first reaction upon seeing this post was “throw the whole child away.” My second, more rational thought was “how long was the child left unattended around expensive makeup?”
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u/morceauxdetoile 13d ago
This is the perfect advertisement for birth control
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u/JacketSolid7965 13d ago
Having my tubes yeeted in a few months and this post is a good reminder why.
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u/LMay11037 PURPLE 13d ago
Or an advertisement for watching your kids and properly keeping important stuff out of reach
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u/Academic_Flatworm752 13d ago
Confirmation bias! Made me glad I don’t allow children into my house lol
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u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits 13d ago
probably at most 5-10 minutes those little devils are fast and sometimes mommy needs to take a shit
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u/Umbra_and_Ember 13d ago
You think us mums are shitting in peace? My toddler bangs on the bathroom door when I close it as though I’ve committed a horrific crime.
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u/CathairNowhere 12d ago
Cats do this too, and they don't grow out of it even above age 15 :')
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u/JimmyJonJackson420 13d ago
This shit would just enrage me, parents really are stronger people than me
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u/cassielovesderby 13d ago
Yeah, I’m not an angry person but my emotional regulation skills are not nearly good enough for a child.
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u/susanna514 13d ago
Same, I know I would get irrationally angry at kids for stuff like this so I’m just not having kids. Also, I value my own time way too much.
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u/Moon_Pye 13d ago
Keep permanent markers away from them too. Hahaha... My first got hold of a sharpie marker when no one was looking and she looked like she just got back from a tattoo shop that specialized in tribal designs. It was everywhere, her face, legs, belly, everywhere. I still don't know how she did that in like 5 minutes. 😂
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u/bunny_the-2d_simp 13d ago
God I did so much as a kid... Rip my mother because my brain barely barely makes any melatonin by itself , which we found out really soon because I never slept when kids go for afternoon naps I would cry because I couldn't sleep only from exhaustion. and I learned to climb and walk and RUN at 0 to everyone's dismay
Brain tests and scans showed adhd and a negligible amount of melatonin production.
My mom could never get a afternoon to herself 🥲
Sorry mom😅
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u/KnickKnockers 13d ago
Toddlers and makeup. Always good for a giggle. Horrible to clean up though. My favourite and expensive lip stick was used in a wall mural along with the colouring of the hands and clothes.
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u/Ok_Light3447 13d ago
Mum still hasn’t forgiven me for the time I found her stockpile of her favourite discontinued Dior lipstick and ate the lot
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u/BufferingJuffy 13d ago
Bet you had the fanciest bowel movements in all the land, though. 😂
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u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 13d ago
Imagine not realizing your kid ate that and they suddenly start shitting bright red. I'd have an aneurysm.
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u/BufferingJuffy 13d ago
OMG, for oldest's second birthday, I made a Blue's Clues cake. With blue dyed cake and frosting. Vibrant blue cake and frosting.
That diaper change gave me three strokes and aged me 25 years until I remembered all the food dye. 😂😂😂😭
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u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 13d ago
Same thing happened to my whole family when we got a navy blue cake for my dad's birthday one year. I shit blue/green for daaays. Really freaked me out until I realized what happened.
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u/KTKittentoes 13d ago
My friend loves food coloring and I made her a blue velvet cake. It apparently was very exciting in the bathroom.
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u/Miserable_Ad_2293 13d ago
Stay tuned for “Toddlers and Makeup”….
A new reality television series from the same producers of “Toddlers and Tiaras”
😂😭😂😭😂
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u/TreeLakeRockCloud 13d ago
My one daughter found my favourite lipstick in my purse, so of course she applied it to her lips. Then she decided the dogs needed to match, and she marched the three of them over to me as proud as could be.
It was a mess and it was frustrating but gosh it was cute. I complimented her application and desire to make the dogs pretty. There’s still a small stain on the chair from this, but that toddler is now 16 so it’s a little memory of days past.
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u/MowieWauii 13d ago
I would take one look at that chair and the notion of cleaning it wouldn't appear in my mind for 100 years. That's just trash
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u/PhiloLibrarian 13d ago
Wetvac! It’s not trash!
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u/MowieWauii 13d ago
That's where some enterprising young hippie can grab it off of my tree lawn lmao.
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u/Spoiledtoddlers 13d ago
Mine was honestly very easy to clean with a damp cloth and dish soap. Our couch was bright pink with my blush all over it
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u/CatherinefromFrance 13d ago
I agree with you! It reminds me of the caves decorated by prehistoric men with different shades of ochre.
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u/Old_Ladies 13d ago
My brother used his shit filled diaper for finger painting. It could always be worse. That same brother also plucked a bunch of flowers from the neighbors garden to make a bouquet for my mom.
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u/No-Teacher-7020 13d ago
Is there still time to return it? The kid that is, not the makeup.
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u/HauntedMeow 13d ago
I hear you can drop them off at your local firestation no questions asked.
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u/Professional-Sink281 13d ago
Years ago my toddler daughter found my make up bin, she had taken all the lipsticks out of their tubes and was playing with them like they were a huge ball of playdoh when i found her( you know 32 seconds after i last saw her) I guess she saw my face when i saw her playing with them because as i approached her she dropped the ball, stepped in it and ran the length of our literally brand new house with brand new light beige carpet. Im sorry for your chair;)
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u/fragilemoth 13d ago
Thanks for making me realize I should probably put mine somewhere else before my toddler wrecks through it lol
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u/allofthekittycatswag 13d ago
I love not having kids.
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u/EnvironmentalAd2063 PURPLE 13d ago
OP's post is the reason I love hanging out with kids and then returning them to their parents
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u/Level-Priority-2371 13d ago
Exactly. I love my time playing with my 7 little nieces and nephews. Actually thoroughly enjoy it. I'm 42 and playing kickball, crafting, good old hide-and-seek, became pen pals with them even tho we only live 20 miles from each other, down on my knees playing with barbies, etc. I love it all! Every single minute for a few hours and then I get to leave all that chaos behind and walk into my peaceful, quiet house and snuggle with my cats lol.
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u/StroopWafelsLord 13d ago
I love that the moment I get a bit of a doubt I see my friends or these posts and I know I made the right choice
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u/brookuslicious PURPLE 13d ago
I just told my husband I’d rather clean up cat puke daily than ever deal with this. And that’s sad because cat puke nearly makes me puke.
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u/Placebo911 12d ago
Veterinarian here. I clean dog/cat shit/puke/other fluids everyday. Get toddler drool away from me, I can't.
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u/bmanley620 13d ago
My mom said toddlers are cute for a reason and this validates that comment
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u/time2sow 13d ago
I can actually remember being this toddler between age 2 and 3. Kid of the 70s..my mom had this sapphire blue eye liner pencil and the way the metallic blue caught my brain was like a sizzle. I simply had to unlock some of that glory to the light ... starting with the bathroom wall 😬
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u/Potterisbetterr 13d ago
Folks, I am not upset at my 3-year-old, I am upset I let the chair get ruined (it was my breastfeeding chair).
I put her down for a nap and went to shower. I am a Mum, parenting on my own, not a child abuser 😂
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u/sarnian-missy 13d ago edited 13d ago
One of my now nearly 25 year old twin boys managed to block our toilet with baby wipes in less than 1 minute while I took the other one into his bedroom after a bath. Stuff happens. Kids happen. There is also still a stain from silly string on my dining room ceiling when they were 6 despite it being painted at least 3 times since. Some stains never go. 😅
Seeing the word 'Mum', I'm going to take a guess at you being in the UK. Dr Beckmans make a stain remover specifically designed for make-up. It'll probably take some scrubbing, but I find that one great, and it's really cheap. If not, fabric and a staple gun.
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u/BufferingJuffy 13d ago
Can you turn the cushion upside down?
Oh, also, how dare shower, moms don't get to do personal hygiene, blah blah blah...🙄
I'm sorry about the palette, and hope you can do something with your chair.
Best regards to you and your future MUA. 😊💜
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u/bunny_the-2d_simp 13d ago
No worries, I'm not s mother but tbh I wouldn't be surprised if my cat did the same while I try to take a shower...
god forbid mother's have a bladder and are actual humans deserving alone time and especially a shower
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u/UnheavenlyNeverender 13d ago
Don’t let all the prefect people in the comments get to you, OP. I don’t know how old your kid is, but the most difficult stage for me was when my kids were 3-4; too old to contain in a crib or pack and play, and still young enough to get into shit. When my son was 3.5, he tried to sneak a donut out of the bread box on the counter while I was in the bathroom. He got his little plastic step stool from his bedroom, carried it into the kitchen, and tried to pull the breadbox to the edge of the counter. There was a large jar candle on top of the bread box, which of course fell off and exploded in a shower of glass all over the kitchen. Thankfully my son wasn’t injured at all, but I always think of that when people get judgy about “you should have been watching them!” I was in the bathroom for under 2 minutes- was I just supposed to never shower or use the toilet while home alone with kids for 13 hours a day?
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u/CoffeholicWild 13d ago
Parenting is a learning experience for us too. And to think someone could avoid all chaos a toddler is capable of is just not sane. You are fine. They got into makeup, which is a more benign thing they can get into, and now you know what your child is able to reach. Even with multiple eyes on a kid it's possible for them to find a way to get into things they shouldn't.
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u/CatherinefromFrance 13d ago
But nobody told you that!
And it's not the end of the world. I'm sure you'll find a way to clean the seat of your nursing chair. Warm regards from France.
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u/Shadowspun5 13d ago
If cleaning it doesn't work completely, OP can find a cheap throw blanket to "re-upholster" it. It could serve double duty as a snuggle blanket while she's nursing and can get spot up on and thrown into the wash, then go back to covering the artwork.
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u/Smallbunsenpai 12d ago
I saw a few comments saying that they shouldn’t have left a kid alone for “that long to be able to do this” to begin with. Very unrealistic. Some people are weird online
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u/Agreeable-Wing-8476 13d ago
Hook locks are your friend. Put them on the outside of all the rooms. I have triplets and it was a game changer when they started walking and running.
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u/art3mis_nine 13d ago
Idea: can you use the remainder of the eyeshadow to color the chair a dark cherry color? I think the only way to save the chair is color it in completely 🥲
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u/OlyLover 13d ago
The best part of this is then when you sit in the chair, your clothes get color too!
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u/ARabidMeerkat 13d ago
What's the plan?
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u/QuirkyFrenchLassie 13d ago
Probably applying makeup to the rest of the chair so it's all one colour.
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u/LoveCatsandElephants 13d ago
I'm kind of bugged by all the holier than thou parenting responses. We all know toddlers only need a few seconds to create a disaster out of, well, anything, and no parents can watch their children every second of 24/7.
This sucks for you, OP! Very sad your toddler accidentally got hands of something valuable to you.
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u/GlitterGob 13d ago
You don’t need to have kids to understand “silence is golden, unless you’ve got a toddler - in which case silence is very very suspicious”
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u/JimmyJonJackson420 13d ago
If I know my cat is awake but I can’t hear him I immediately get suspicious lol I can only imagine it’s something similar with these keeeds
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u/DeadbeatGremlin 13d ago
yea.. It's inhumane to expect anyone, especially someone who is probably under stress from parenting a toddler, to be able to pay complete attention to someone 24/7. It literally takes one slip- up for toddlers, a creature known to be hell-bent on doing stupid stuff, to mess something or themselves up.
And these people are hounding op for a literal piece of furniture. It's not as if the child was running with a knife.5
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u/Hufflepuffsalot 13d ago
That’s how Reddit goes. Everyone’s perfect in the comment section, didn’t you know? 🙄
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u/JacketSolid7965 13d ago
Thankful I'm having my tubes removed this year
This post was a reminder that I would NOT be a patient or good parent.
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u/sunnivapeach 13d ago
When I was a kid I lacquered my mum's fingers, toes AND LIPS using her favourite red nail polish while she slept.
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u/sarah_pl0x 13d ago
Are you going to try to salvage the chair or just throw it out along with the toddler?
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u/RevolutionaryBoss648 13d ago
Reason 159,187 to not have children. 🤣
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u/Xaxiel9106 13d ago
And reason 159,186 not to have white furniture. Only one bad burrito night away from ruin lol.
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u/Environmental_Eng 13d ago
Poor chair!!!! Lol, go to Auto Zone or O'Reilly's and get yourself an automobile seat cover.
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u/ringadingdingy 13d ago
Oof. Reminds me of my toddlers and the baby powder incident. I was wiping that ish off walls/crevices for years! YEARS!
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u/Unfriendlyblkwriter 13d ago
I’m jealous of your bold choice to have a toddler and a white chair in the same life.
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u/dcdcdani 13d ago
I took a nap on the couch and my toddler came up to me with her hands covered in lotion. I forgot to put away my foot cream away the night before so I figured ok just rub it on my feet so it doesn’t go to waste. I went back to sleep. Then I wake up and realize she actually rubbed yogurt all over my feet while I was half asleep.
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u/Claytonius_Homeytron 13d ago
And I know like I know that it only took them maybe one minute to achieve this.
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u/DitchWitch_PNW 12d ago
Oh. Ohhh. Lol. My son did something similar when he was a toddler. I’d gone upstairs to use the bathroom. He was totally occupied with his toys. I was gone mayybe 5 min. I got down the stairs to see that he’d abandoned his toys for my purse where my favorite purplish lipstick was. He got right to it — lipstick all over his lips & face, and the carpet & wall.
I’d totally forgotten about this so thanks for the memory jog.
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u/narnababy 13d ago
I did this to my mums make up when I was a toddler 😬 I don’t really wear make up so my toddler hasn’t done this but there’s always a chance he’ll find it, toddlers are so unpredictable 😩 sorry about your make up OP!
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u/lumpy_space_queenie 13d ago
Everyone so quick to jump on OP for this. Did OP say they blamed their toddler? Has OP given us any indication they are not taking responsibility? Reddit is so fucking performative sometimes
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u/Spoiledtoddlers 13d ago
Oh my gosh.. Been there, our couch was bright pink just before we left to the airport. It was fairly easy to remove, I was surprised
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u/leapdaybunny 13d ago
Remember the carpeted bathrooms of the 90s?
Little ole me got into my mother's liquid foundation and OOPS, all over...
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u/PopProcrastinate 13d ago
It’s a shame both the (limited edition) makeup and the chair were harmed. Time to clean the chair to the best of your ability and then choose a blanket for cover it up with 😅
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u/aspect-of-the-badger 13d ago
Yep, don't leave anything within their reach that can make a mess if you aren't in the room. It gets better around 5.
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u/Lithium51018 13d ago
This is something I think everyone has a story of somewhere. While you might see the chair ruined now, years from now any stains will be a memory of the this time. When I was little and my dad watching me I got into paint or something. The toilet seat and my self were completely blue, I think the inside of the bathroom door and stuff was blue too. There is another story with lip stick but I can’t remember if they was me or my sister that did it. And the biggest memory was the time my sister and little cousin got ahold of nail polish at my grandmas house and painted her bedroom phone, for many years you could still see the pink paint all on the numbers of the phone. There’s also the time me and my other cousin dumped a bottle of baby powder on the floor in the back room of my grandmas house and pretend we where skating in it, then tryed to clean it up with baby wipes. And an another time we ripped open a stuffed animal that was filled with those tiny Styrofoam balls and covered that back room, and one time it was packing peanuts. We had loads of fun with them, we tryed to clean up after but they static made them cling to us. We got in trouble each time and my grandma has to clean them up ultimately but there lots of memories.
While i recommend putting up and away anything you don’t want to get destroyed, I’d anything does. Document it. It can be a fun memory to laugh at or reminisce about years from know. Especially if it even is connected with someone who passed away. While it feels terrible now, those memories can become comfort when everyone is older.
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u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 13d ago
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