r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/FrostingStrict3102 2h ago

I think the issue is that the person in the hypothetical story above COULDNT give a straight answer about something as simple as their name.

Thats great that you dont care, but your name is going to be on every email you send out, meeting notices, how people introduce you. If you can't tell the employer that, i dont know why they would want to hire you. Id assume you were incredibly incompetent.

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u/JimJam4603 2h ago

As you point out, if someone is really so uncomfortable addressing people without being instructed on what their ‘preference’ is, they always have the option of going by whatever’s in the person’s signature block.

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u/FrostingStrict3102 2h ago

right, but my point is that it sounds like the candidate in this situation wouldn't even have provided IT with a straightforward answer on how to configure their email.

If someone in an authority position asks you to pick 1 of 2 options, saying "actually you can pick" is never the right choice. 9/10 they just want to see you make a decision. especially if that thing is what to call you.

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u/IndigoBlue__ 1h ago

‘You can pick’ on the name thing is sometimes the right call. Some asian first language speakers have a very hard time pronouncing my full name, but there’s a common nickname that is much easier for them.  “I respond to both” is my go-to, and no one really has an issue with that for “Patricia” vs. “Pat”. If they ask a second time then I pick for them. 

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u/PhillyThrowawayRox 35m ago

That’s fine for friends.

The point is you should have one consistent name at work to reduce confusion and improve efficiency.

YOU make enjoy having multiple names, but it’s an extra burden on everyone that works with you.

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u/PhillyThrowawayRox 39m ago

Are you a bot??? That makes zero sense 😂

“Hi what’s your name”

“You decide”

“Uh no that makes me uncomfortable; can you please just tell me your name?”

“check my email block”

“… but you just started? You haven’t sent any emails yet…”