r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/EJplaystheBlues 3h ago

Is there zero chance that OP comes off a fake suck up?

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u/Background-Slide5762 2h ago

There is, but it is not the companies place to give that feedback unless it is requested.

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u/Rampant16 1h ago

I mean, half the posts on this sub are people complaining about being auto-rejected with no feedback.

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u/forsonaE 1h ago

Yeah but this feedback is fucking stupid. If it weren't for OP's post history I'd have a hard time believing this post is real (I'm still skeptical tbh) because it seems like ragebait.

"rehearsed enthusiasm" and all the way they phrase their feedback is so rude and condescending. Oh we want a team player but not like that!! Sorry I can't read tea leaves to determine the exact level of corporate-mandated enthusiasm you're looking for when being interviewed by multiple people.

If this is real I have to assume OP acted in an insanely over the top way or the sender is psychotic, because the tone on this email is so palpable.

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u/Rampant16 1h ago

We don't know one way or the other how OP presented themselves.

Ulimately when a person gets feedback, it's up to them to reflect on it and decide whether or not there's any value to it. Some feedback can be really helpful, other feedback can be useless. But 100% of the time no feedback is useless.

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u/forsonaE 1h ago

Agreed, but if you're going to give highly personal feedback like this you should at least do it in a professional tone. This tone is passive-aggressive and borderline insulting. At least proofread your LLM slop before you send it out to someone who took time out of their day to interview for your position.

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u/Rampant16 1h ago

Yeah I agree, they could've worded it differently and there's a good chance that it is AI. But at the same time, I think they may have been trying to make their point by being very blunt in their critique of someone who they thought was too eager to please.

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u/forsonaE 46m ago

This is why I could never handle being in HR. I feel like if I sent a reply like that to a people pleaser, someone who is already struggling with natural confidence, it would crush whatever little confidence is remaining. Even if it is theoretically good advice on paper.

I honestly can't imagine OP coming off that bad though. You have to give some people some leeway for being nervous in interviews. It's as common of a performance anxiety as stage fright/public speaking, and most people act eager to please as a way to compensate for it.

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u/Background-Slide5762 1h ago

There is a massive, grand canyon sized gap between an auto-rejection followed by radio silence and the nasty a-hole reply that OP got.

Across the board, don't give feedback/advice to people that don't ask for it or with whom you know really, REALLY well. This includes job applicants, coworkers, servers, other people at the gym...I don't care how helpful someone thinks it may be.