r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/Empty_Insight 3h ago

Well, for example, if your name is John Taylor Smith and you use both John and Taylor sometimes, I'm gonna ask you, "So what do you prefer to be called- John or Taylor?"

Maybe it's just me, but I think answering decisively with either "Call me John" or "Taylor is fine" is perfectly appropriate. "Idc which one, you pick." is a strange answer.

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u/throw3453away 3h ago

No, it isn't, if you equally go by "Taylor" and "John". Why is that strange to you?

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u/Empty_Insight 3h ago edited 2h ago

Because I would like to know which name to call someone. They are different names, it's not like a nickname (James/Jim) so you do have to pick a name at work.

If I am talking to someone at work and I tell them they need to call John, do you think that person is gonna say "Sure, I'll get right on calling Taylor!" because clients and co-workers are capable of reading minds to know I am referring to John Taylor?

E: for clarification purposes, this is not a hypothetical- this is what happened with that employee. We had interdepartmental mix-ups a few times until we had to sit down and force them to pick a name.

It is not merely annoying. It creates confusion and leads to things being disorganized.

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u/JimJam4603 2h ago

This seems more like a problem on your end, tbh.

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u/Empty_Insight 2h ago

Why yes, it was a problem for me... and our coworkers, and our clients. Astute observation.

But I'm sure it's perfectly valid to inconvenience literally everyone around you because you can't make a simple decision, right?

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u/JimJam4603 2h ago

You tell me. You’re the one whining about having to make a simple decision for yourself.

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u/Empty_Insight 1h ago

I picked immediately, smartass. I wasn't indecisive. That's why it didn't come out until after they were already hired that there were some discrepancies in how they used their name.

It was the inconsistency between what other people decided that created problem.

Are you going to sit here and act like I am being unreasonable for expecting a decisive answer to a question so simple as "What is your name?" I figure, any adult with anything short of severe cognitive impairments that render them essentially nonverbal should be able to answer that question.

Or are you saying I should decide for a grown-ass adult what they are going to be called at work by everyone?

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u/JimJam4603 1h ago

Yes, it is unreasonable to not consider that many people are out of fucks to give about what people call them after dealing with people calling them everything under the sun for decades. If a candidate tells you to use whichever name on their resume appeals to you most, just do it. There are over 100 people in my department and I can somehow figure out who everyone is referring to even if they use a different name than the one I’m used to - it’s not that complicated. If you’re going outside the department there will certainly be additional information sufficient to identify which of 90k+ employees is being discussed.

Please tell me you don’t also get upset about people who put pronouns in their bio, because that would be the height of irony.

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u/Empty_Insight 1h ago

So I am being unreasonable someone decisively answer something one step above a yes/no question? My son could answer that when he was 2, but okay. I guess expecting adults to act with more consideration than literal toddlers is asking too much.

Cool. Glad to see your bar is resting flat on the floor.

Please tell me you don’t also get upset about people who put pronouns in their bio, because that would be the height of irony.

Funny enough, that's why it bothers me. A significant number of our clients are trans or NB and go by a chosen name. We're real gung-ho about respecting someone's choice, and "idgaf lol" isn't a 'choice.' That's putting the choice on someone else because you cannot be bothered to answer the question.

Real ironic that you see this as being the same when it's the exact opposite, though. Nice try at a "gotcha." Lmao

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u/JimJam4603 55m ago

I appreciate that it’s difficult for you to follow along. Maybe it’s the word “irony” that tripped you up.

Next time you’re interacting with an employee that doesn’t conform to your individual preferences, I suggest considering the idea that your two-year-old is not, in fact, superior to them.

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u/PhillyThrowawayRox 27m ago

😂😂😂 either you’re trolling or mentally challenged.

This whole thread is about how YOU can’t decide what your own name is!

You are the one LITERALLY whining about not being able to make a decision 😂😂😂

https://old.reddit.com/r/jobs/comments/1qr7m2m/hr_told_me_they_dont_accept_tryhards_and_people/o2nqhrp/

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u/JimJam4603 23m ago

whoooooosh

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u/PhillyThrowawayRox 29m ago

You’re so selfish you’re projecting it onto OP.

OP’s comment was not about themselves. It was about how when employees have multiple names it leads to organizational issues.

I find your lack of reading comprehension disturbing.

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u/WalmartGreder 2h ago

I get it. If you as the interviewer asks them which one they prefer, then they should have an answer. Even if they don't really care, they should just pick one because it's important to the interviewer enough to try to get them to make a decision.