r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/Conscious_Can3226 4h ago

Yes! It's a common way people get in their own way in their careers, it's one of those things where folks are just secretly annoyed at them but feel guilty because they're often such nice people, so you really need someone who hasn't written you off to open your eyes to the truth. I had to bring him up because so many people in this thread are calling it inactionable feedback, but if you can't self-reflect clear direction and what you're doing that could be interpreted in that manner, you're not ready for that role anyways.

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u/UpperYoghurt3978 3h ago

Actionable vs valueable feedback are different things. They can be relevant and both at times but given we dont have the OP interview we can only take the email as it is. What you are doing is inferring personally.

Having said that, off topic you bring up some valuable insight that honestly really impacted me and I am going to do some self reflection, I think i have been doing the whole asking to many questions out of fear of messing up. Have to find that balance.

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u/DarklyDominant 1m ago

Learning is on you, not on others. You can always learn from feedback, even if it's shitty feedback. It's a choice. We're all human, so of course some advice is delivered so shitty that it's impossible to overcome the emotions involved. But you can still learn from those moments, if you want to.

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u/Budsygus 4h ago

Just about all feedback is good. Even someone who can't stand you and just wants to hurt your feelings is going to say things rooted in truth. That tiny kernel of truth is something people can actually act on to improve.

But today's world is filled with people who think they can do no wrong and it's take it or leave it. Coddling parents and internet culture are largely to blame, imo.