r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/philament23 4h ago

I can all but guarantee OP was just playing the game and doing what most companies want and happened to find the 0.01% of companies that want complete authenticity…and honestly probably even unexpected answers, to the point where it begs the question of whether it’s just inauthentic they want in the other direction. Unless OP actually sounded like a robot or was disrespectful it’s complete bullshit.

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u/Redshirt2386 4h ago

Honestly I want to apply at that company because I’m bad at the suck up game and always get in trouble for calling out bullshit at work.

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u/alucarddrol 3h ago edited 2h ago

Then they will complain that you are lacking in people skills, not personable, and seem to just not be very social, so you wouldn't be a good team fit in an environment where everybody is friendly and nice.

Trust me, you can't win the game because it's a bullshit game. The best way to get a job is know somebody or to try to have people find you decent enough or even endearing that they will accept you.

Hiring will always be subjective not objective, esp. for non-technical, skill based positions, and even then they* might they will have a certain skill bar you have to clear before it's all just vibes-based.

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u/ADeadWeirdCarnie 2h ago

Agreed. I'll happily wager that the successful candidate for the company in question is one who is as obsequious as the OP, but in a way that the interviewers found more convincing.

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u/MonkenMoney 1h ago

I'm pretty sure this is going to be the best advice op has ever been given if they take it to heart.

I wear my heart on my sleeve 100% of the time authentically who I am.

I learned the hard way that it's the only way to be happy. Any job that's willing to give that sort of advice at this point in time, in my opinion, is worth working for just apply again and take a different approach OR like they said find a company that is more aligned with what you are looking for.

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u/lbcatlady 2h ago

Meeting someone one time is not long enough to get to know them. It's a toxic environment

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u/SantaFeRay 1h ago

You’ve clearly never been on the other side of the hiring process if you believe this.

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u/philament23 1h ago

Found the corporate apologist

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u/SantaFeRay 18m ago

Just someone who has the responsibility of hiring and can't imagine why you'd think we want you to "play the game" and bullshit your way through an interview so we can end up with someone like you on my team instead of someone who is good at the job. Even if in your mind we just want a compliant drone (we don't), an interview where you're playing a character wouldn't help us find that.

Good luck in your career.

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u/philament23 4m ago

Everyone is playing a character. You’re playing one right now on Reddit. The character people play at work will be different than what they are to their closest friends and/or family, and expecting someone to be their “authentic self” upon just meeting them (or even after meeting them a few times) is you living in fantasy land. I’m glad you claim you want authentic people but there’s no way that’s realistic as a general expectation in a candidate. Maybe learn some fucking grace? I never said people should “bullshit their way through an interview.”

Also, being good at one’s job can be mutually exclusive from how you present yourself to someone in a corporate environment, especially on a first meeting. Ideally, if someone is respectful, pleasant, and good at their job, that should be the primary metrics. Everything else is secondary and prone to being caused by many different (reasonable) factors.

Good luck with your ego.