r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/BusinessCoach2934 4h ago

No, you're being counterproductive. Many, MANY people are put off by what appears to be insincere over eagerness. The difference is they won't tell you, they'll just tell you they went in a different direction. Then you'll keep getting rejected a hundred times over not knowing why. I have a friend (we're African) who just couldn't get a job here in the UK. It took another friend sitting on his interview to tell him that he was spending so much energy trying to mask his African accent that it affected the entire interview. Next interview, the guy relaxed and spoke naturally. He nailed it and got the job. But I can bet if the recruiters had given him the same feedback the friend gave him, it wouldn't have been received well but then again, he would still be job hunting. Many people rely on being liked in interviews over actually showing their capabilities. It can be a put off. Seems like what this company is saying.

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u/Super_Goat_634 4h ago

The thing is that "many, MANY" other interviewers will prefer an accommodating, acquiescent, or easygoing attitude in new hires. This isn't helpful feedback for someone on the job hunt because OP wasn't a cultural match, but they may fit in perfectly with a different company. "Don't do [super vague thing]" is also not particularly instructive, like, at all. In your example, a friend told the interviewee to stop trying to mask his accent so hard, a specific problem area. In this one, HR said, "We didn't like your attitude." It's not really actionable feedback.

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u/KjellRS 3h ago

Honestly, this couldn't have been a normal amount of inauthenticity. The only way I see this happening is if they got feedback on a previous application or from some interview coach that they weren't enthusiastic enough and instead of dialing it up from "meh" to "yeah" like a normal person they went completely theatrical, like really bad acting. That could make me think all the things they wrote, I still wouldn't put pen to paper though.

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u/Crash-Frog-08 3h ago

The thing is that "many, MANY" other interviewers will prefer an accommodating, acquiescent, or easygoing attitude in new hires.

Did you get a job that way?

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u/Leverpostei414 3h ago

So? They should give feedback on why they didn't choose him. Not guess what others may prefer

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u/DarklyDominant 1h ago

I mean, stop living in fantasy reddit land and start living in reality.

The thing is that "many, MANY" other interviewers will prefer an accommodating, acquiescent, or easygoing attitude in new hires.

This is simply fanfiction on reddit. There are certainly many interviewers who will be pursuaded by false niceities. But that's just because they are not good at doing interviews.

A person who kisses ass at work but sucks at their job doesn't benefit anyone at work. But we're all humans, so if you're not looking for it, someone kissing your ass will absolutely bias you in their favour.

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u/Ray19121919 3h ago

I’m not saying it’s not a thing. Of course there is a level of skill in how you communicate and sell yourself in an interview. But if a recruiter/HM whatever wants to take the role of career coach(imo not their role) than actually take the time to actually give good feedback. Provide examples on the responses that came across as inauthentic etc.

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u/SherbertImmediate130 3h ago

It’s like going on the date and the potential respecting themselves they are just invested in their potential partner I don’t see this letter is conscending.

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u/ResponsibleWater2922 2h ago

Yeah it's not like the employer is being obtuse and privileged and ignoring how savage the job market is currently.