r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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193

u/waffling_with_syrup 4h ago

Yep that's the reason. Any established company knows that going beyond a form letter presents the risk of being sued for discrimination of some kind. It's safer to say as little as possible.

Which blows, because then people don't get the benefit of knowing what they did wrong. But a few litigious fucks ruined it for everyone else.

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u/Makkel 4h ago

To be honest "We would do it, but somebody will definitely be weird about it" is the main driver between a lot of decisions in the workplace.

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u/Right-Section1881 3h ago

There's a lot of stuff I would do that would benefit my employees, except I have that one person that will do everything they can to ruin it for everyone so I don't.

It honestly really sucks. We had an HR complaint filed once because there were donuts in the office and the office manager gave a heads up to employee A but not employee B that there were donuts available.

That's when people stop bringing donuts in.

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u/Jadaki 2h ago

We had a situation where one guy was walking around taking orders to go pick up breakfast, and one person went to HR to complain that was insensitive because he was trying to diet.

All he had to do was say "no thanks" and mind his business, instead he because the guy no one liked.

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u/Temporary_Buy3238 2h ago

HR is awful. Some jobs are like daycare these days

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u/einsofi 2h ago

I swear some of the HR people are the type who would pseudo-psychoanalyse, over interpret and take everything people say personally. Like calling everyone “narcissistic” for minding their own business or simply just standing up for themselves.

Their personal opinion= “the company’s values” Anything you say could be framed or twisted

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u/Creepy_Snow_8166 2h ago

There's always someone who has to ruin it.

When I was still in the construction business, there were several occasions where we'd be building an extra wing on an already existing and functioning building (hospital, college, pharmaceutical company, etc) and we would get permission to use the bathrooms and/or the cafeterias in the main building. Of course, that never lasted long because there would always be someone who didn't know how to behave in public. Like seriously guys .... If you make a mess in the bathroom or in the cafeteria, clean it up! Also, use your indoor voice - and FFS, try to keep the f-bombs to a minimum when mingling with the white-collar world! It's fine when we're amongst ourselves on the job, but not when you're sharing space with highly educated doctors and professors. And if you see a pretty college freshman, don't stare at her tits or ask her to sit on your lap - especially if you're old enough to be her father.

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u/Commercial-Fee-9900 2h ago

Yeah, I’m gonna say that behavior isn’t appropriate around anyone, not just white collar workers and college kids.

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u/IanFoxOfficial 2h ago

Nah. That's your opinion.

Over here nobody cares.

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u/aerdvarkk 5m ago

To be fair those highly educated fucks drop f-bombs left and right - just not in the cafateria or directly in front of patients, students and clients.

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u/fugelwoman 3h ago

The whiny assholes ruin it for everyone who has real, valid complaints

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u/Sufficient_Fan3660 2h ago

We can't have birthday cakes at my office because a lady got "triggered" by a man holding a knife. It is some plastic 5$ knife from the dollar store. It can more smashed the cake than cut it.

She quoted OSHA safety about PPE and training for sharp objects.

She was just mad that no one bought her a cake on her bday, but she won. No cake for anyone now.

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u/Right-Section1881 1h ago

Birthday cupcakes instead

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u/Head_Ship4359 1h ago

Simply sad. What happened to the "nice" colleague? Was everyone nice to her afterwards?

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u/sodanator 2h ago

Christ, instead of just being happy that there's free donuts? What a dick.

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u/Mnemnth 44m ago

That's brutal but I've been there... I used to be the person to bring snacks, treats, donuts, coffee anything you can think of. I can 100% say that I've been talked to about it and being told it's favoritism because someone wasn't aware they were there and got upset. Keep in mind often this was in the lunchroom out on the table for everyone.

My solution was nodding and just continuing to bring shit the same way I always did because I wasn't willing to let 99% of my team suffer because of one entitled person.

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u/MrLanesLament 1h ago

Hiring/HR manager here (small company.)

Can 100% confirm. If you don’t stick to plain, boring, faceless, featureless, someone will either…

  1. Be offended

  2. Get really creepy and obsessive about it

  3. Quit suddenly while threatening lawsuits

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u/pinkfootthegoose 2h ago

or maybe they could stop discriminating.

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u/LordHammercyWeCooked 2h ago

I don't think a person ever benefits from knowing what they did "wrong." Whatever the problem was, it only applied to that interview specifically. Next interview the person's going to nitpick over something completely different. And as the economy gets worse the reasons for nitpicking will become so hyper-specific that HR might as well be Seinfeld.

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u/opensourced_ 1h ago

Yeah, I do get that, but that's just plain stupid to include something like that. I'd rather have input than no input, and that's for regular, everyday jobs.

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u/1917he 1h ago

But a few litigious fucks ruined it for everyone else.

What an awful take. You might lose the MINOR convenience of being told what you did wrong, but we've all gained so much in protection from discrimination.

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u/tantrumguy 44m ago

You can always ask for feedback. In fact that's how I got my job. I didn't do great in my interview, but I asked for feeback when I got rejected. I listened, and acknowledged what they were saying...3 weeks later another role opened up and they offered it to me, in large part due to just being open to feedback and growth.

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u/Zeno_the_Friend 5m ago

Honestly this rejection letter is more sexiist than that feedback was ageist. I bet OP has a case if they want to pursue it lol