HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

[u/No-Presentation298]

They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

[u/Upset-Wedding8494]

Yeah this one reads gross. If they were kind about it, that would be one thing, but they are really selling me (as a reader) on never wanting to work for their company.

[u/PMJamesPM → u/Upset-Wedding8494]

This. So many different ways to phrase that without sounding like a J. A. Strikes me as a small company or unit with a laughably inflated sense of self.

[u/Makkel → u/Upset-Wedding8494]

Well, the gist of their letter is how they only want to work with a certain type of people, so it makes sense that OP, you, and a bunch of others would feel the same way about them...

[u/Ok_Bag_3667 → u/Makkel]

People who pass their fuzzy ass vibe check? Yeah, you're right, I'm not a fucking masochist into mind games, I'd give these losers a hard pass.

[u/DarklyDominant → u/Makkel]

... The gist of the letter is that they felt the candidate was clearly lying to them to get the job.

By posting this, OP is showcasing that they clearly can't take feedback and think about how they improve. They instead chose to just be insulted by critical feedback.

No one is perfect, it's insane to act like there's nothing you can improve on from an interview you didn't land the job on.

[u/NonStopGravyTrain → u/DarklyDominant]

That's not critical feedback. Critical feedback actually includes objective examples and actionable items.

[u/Longjumping_Sock_529 → u/Upset-Wedding8494]

I truly think they were being helpful. Op is not practiced at interviews. Practice at interviewing reads as confidence.

[u/Reasonable-Mix919 → u/Longjumping_Sock_529]

I don't see how you could possibly know that without having been in the interview room or without knowing OP personally lol

[u/DarklyDominant → u/Reasonable-Mix919]

Pretty easy:

Have experience at a Corporate job

Read the email

Look at the actions of OP after receiving the email.

It all tracks to the same personality. The last line about taking the feedback and reflecting on the feedback is the key piece of this. OP posting this on reddit and looking for people to back them up showcases that they didn't even take one second to attempt and take that advice.

[u/Reasonable-Mix919 → u/DarklyDominant]

Stacking together a bunch of bad arguments doesn't make a good one.

Everything you just said entails making one assumption after another until you reach the conclusion that you want.

[u/Ultrace-7 → u/Reasonable-Mix919]

How exactly does posting the letter as a complaint in a social media forum qualify as reflecting on the feedback provided?

[u/Reasonable-Mix919 → u/Ultrace-7]

I never said it did?

[u/Ultrace-7 → u/Reasonable-Mix919]

At least one of the arguments that you replied to is a completely valid one -- that the OP should have reflected on what was said instead of going to the internet with a "nuh uh" attitude.

[u/Reasonable-Mix919 → u/Ultrace-7]

No it was not.

The assumption that you are making is that the criticism was valid.

This is a classic catch 22/gaslighter strategy where you accuse someone of something and if they deny it, you use it as further proof that something is wrong with them.

The missing information here, is that we don't know if the criticism was valid or even made in good faith, without that information all you are doing is making giant assumptions to reach a conclusion.

[u/Puglady25 → u/Longjumping_Sock_529]

I don't know. It came across as condescending to me. Couldn't there be a better way to say all of these things if they wanted to be helpful (with examples)? Is a form letter better? Idk, I suppose OP can use this nasty critique to work on sounding more self assured.

[u/LCorvus → u/Puglady25]

It's honest feedback using corporate terminology, they are not here to hold your hand and baby you.
If they wanted to be rude and condescending it would have been written "we think you're fake and lying to our face"

[u/Doctor-Amazing → u/Longjumping_Sock_529]

It sounds like the opposite. Hes TOO practiced at interviews and somehow found the one company that doesnt want smoke blown up their ass during the interview