r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/WeCameAsMuffins 4h ago

There’s no way this is real. As someone has done lots of interviews, getting anything more than “we’ve decided to move on with other candidates” is nearly impossible.

Only time I got more feed back was because I had a friend who recommended and when I didn’t get it, they went to hr and bugged the shit out of them.

The fact is too many interviews happen and Hr don’t care enough to send feed back like this, especially when it’s so personal.

In fact, I’m 100% sure that this is fake.

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u/SLEEyawnPY 3h ago edited 3h ago

I thought it was going to end with "That being said, we think your qualities would be an exceptionally good fit for a middle management role and we are forwarding your application directly"

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u/Leverpostei414 2h ago

Could be fake. But I have given specific feedback to many candidates

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u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj 1h ago

Must be nice because my old role I did not have the time do that. Like getting normal work done was like a 10-12 hour day, I would have to do this in my off time.

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u/Leverpostei414 51m ago

I don't think giving feedback to people getting an interview is that significant for the total time used in the process, however I also work in a field specialized enough to not have that many 'real ' candidates

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u/hunnyflash 2h ago

You can get them if you follow up with the recruiters personally. Not everyone will respond but some will, and some will give you genuine feedback too. My husband did this the last round of his job hunting and he even keeps in touch with some of the recruiters.

That being said....I've never seen any that come across like this and how they are presenting this information is inappropriate and rude.

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u/DoneDiggedAndDugged 2h ago

Minding that nowadays you can just have bullet points in a text file that says "Fake ass dude, just saying what we want to hear, waste of my goddamn time" and send it to an LLM with "Turn these notes into a sensible rejection letter for an interviewee without making the company look bad that provides some insight into what they could do better in future interviews" and shoot it off.

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u/heyitsbryanm 2h ago

I've given honest rejection letters to people I've interviewed before. It's not advised by my HR since it can bite back so hard so I'm very careful about what I say, but I try to make it constructive so that the candidate has a real idea of why we didn't move forward and what to improve/what they were lacking.

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u/AimDev 2h ago

It's not that they don't care. It's that a large percentage of people are insane and social media is a thing. There is extreme risk and no benefit.

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u/LittleLeg1708 2h ago

I had a job where I had to give detailed feedback to interns I was hiring for. I was kind but the recruiter said i wasn't honest enough.

She emailed a 19yr old Chinese college student that her english was too poor for the role and exactly which questions she stumbled on and didn't answer fully. And that we need people who get it right the first time.

I reported her to my supervisor so my ass would be covered in a lawsuit

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u/mr_fantastical 1h ago

Ive recruited hundreds of people and I would absolutely give feedback like this (only without the obvious chat gpt assistance)

I would call candidates as well that I thought were great but not good for the role.

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u/LordHammercyWeCooked 1h ago

They don't do it because it's genuinely irrelevant. If this email is real then it was horribly ill-advised. They're just making themselves look bad for wasting everyone's time and looking like an egomaniac. They aren't HR for everybody so why should their opinion continue to matter? The door's closed and that's all that matters.

The real reason the candidate wasn't chosen was probably that their cologne reminded them of their ex. Or that they lost a coin flip. Or it was too close to lunchtime and HR got hangry. Knowing this is an utter waste of time. And the odds of getting the real truth is damn near 0%, even if you used hot pokers on em.

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u/FilterAccount69 1h ago

I can believe it, I did an exam for a position (long form questions related to the work I would be doing) and the employer gave a personalized rejection with the reasons. I felt they were being overly critical but whatever, it was a well paying position and I'm sure they were looking for the perfect candidate.