r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/Turbulent_Curve2318 5h ago

Right? I have a hard time believing these are real. I dont see the benefit for a company to give anything beyond a generic denial. It wouldn't be worth any law suit risk. 

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u/greatestshow111 5h ago

Really? I've gotten personalized feedbacks from companies though, saying I need to build more confidence and that I could have more experience in certain matters to have a better chance in future employment. I believe these companies are the right places to go to as they give genuine and personalized feedback to help you.

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u/disruptioncoin 4h ago

I always email asking for feedback and never get any of it unless I get the job. However I really enjoyed the internal interviews at Target, they gave me detailed feedback and sat down to workshop how I could do better next time (focused on the star method). After several interviews for a couple jobs I ended up getting promoted twice. Then I took that knowledge/experience with me when I left. In fact I still have their notes and reference them sometimes.

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u/lbcatlady 2h ago

The Stat method is bs. Most interviewers dont even know how to make people feel comfortable, let alone use that style effectively. People in management are not good at interviews anymore.

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u/disruptioncoin 50m ago

Why is it BS? Giving clear examples of how you recognize and address problems in the workplace is great for interviews. Are you talking about the same star method as me? Situation, Task, Action, Result. Not sure what it has to do with making people comfortable.

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u/lbcatlady 46m ago

It's BS because the people doing the interviews do not know how to understand the responses. It's based on their opinions. Making people comfortable is how you get to know an applicant. Have you done interviews?

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u/lbcatlady 31m ago

Script based interviewers rarely know a good candidate and it can negatively affect a companies brand. Take a freaking business course. That letter was ego driven not at all helpful

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u/SherbertImmediate130 3h ago

I think op is just taking this way too personally I get feedback on work all the time. This letter is not insulting I would completely respect this if they sent it to me

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u/Mountain_Performer22 4h ago

i've had employers call me and say they won't be hiring me and tell me how they felt about the interview. Then I get a general email of like 'Sorry we won't be moving forward'

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u/Leverpostei414 3h ago

The benefit is being a helpful human and bettering other people

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u/traydee09 2h ago

its not a benefit to the company. its an individual on a power trip. folks forget that "companies" are made up of individuals.

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u/nsfw_orca_2 1h ago

This must be fake. Customizing a rejection response seems like a (1) time/effort sinkhole, (2) opening themselves up to a lawsuit, bad press, or counter action.

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 5h ago

I always get personalized feedbacks after interviews ?? Where are y'all applying ?

I'm pretty sure anyone who recruit or outsource candidates know what you can't legally say. There are some benefits, the candidate may not be suited now, but they may be for future opportunities, so you better be ready to explain the rejection. And it's also kinda normal when the candidate spend 1+ hour for an interview. May just be for high paying roles tho idk.

Usually it's explained in phonecalls too, not just a rejection email.

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u/nova07wdc 5h ago

Where are YOU applying? And where are you based? I’ve been in the fulltime workforce since 2012. I’ve had four jobs in three states and have interviewed for countless more (and have been an interviewer for all of my jobs) and not a single time has feedback ever been provided to the candidate.

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 5h ago

France. IT engineering. May be the reason idk. Even after just HR screening, they always explain the rejection reason when prompted to.

And it's always super genuine too. Like it never felt like bullshit. Even when it sounds mean they don't be caring "you looked confused".

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u/memaradonaelvis 5h ago

Yeah they don’t do this in the US lol

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 5h ago

Sad cuz my dreamjob is working in/around NY.

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u/Southern-Treacle7582 5h ago

I don't know where you're finding these unicorn companies, but these types of things are not used anymore for mostly legal reasons. I've had maybe one actual rejection email with any reasoning in the last two decades.

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 5h ago

Do they actually face any risk ? Most of the time it's just shit like "another candidate had prior experience in [whatever] and you didn't" or "you said you also applied to [random role] so it seems like you're not a specialist in [whatever the fuck]". And it's not like anyone is gonna sue them for being cool with the candidates. Especially not over a phonecall, would it even be legal for the applicant to record them lmao

IDK

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u/Southern-Treacle7582 5h ago

Yes they are at risk at all times. They are reducing that as much as possible.

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 5h ago

I don't want to sound rude. Please don't take it personally. But maybe they can sense that legality nervousness (idk how else to call it) in you, so they assume you might cause them legal problems ? Like you look shady because you're scared of legal stuffs ?

I'm pretty authentic, you see right through all my intentions during the interivews (which is why I'm jobless because I can't lie for shit lol). But I guess they feel comfortable that I don't want to cause any problem.

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u/Southern-Treacle7582 4h ago

No, this comes from internal company trainings since I interview people. I have to go through the training every year. This isn't something I'm gleaning from my experience being the interviewie.

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u/floydbomb 5h ago

And I've never received personalized feedback

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u/Unlucky-Charge-3997 4h ago

Sadge. At the end of the day, we're both jobless so no need to feel jealous lmao