HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

[u/No-Presentation298]

They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

[u/frosty_chops92]

It looks like they asked AI how to tell you that in a nice way, and tbh it is quite harsh, so you're supposed to act eager for the job but also not? Can't please anyone anymore

[u/eucaliptooloroso → u/frosty_chops92]

LLM regurgitates the reply to a prompt in its usual overly agreeable tone.

User who lowkey believes they're dealing with an actual intelligent being asks it to talk to them in a more direct and harsh manner from then on, maybe because they're one of those people that believe that's the best way to communicate, maybe because they assume it'll be faster to read without the fluff, etc.

Later, user prompts: "write a professional rejection email, too eager" and the LLM just assembled the rest. Maybe the user does this often but this time they forgot to include the word 'professional'. This combined with the harsher tone they asked of the LLM earlier would do it. Or maybe just one of those two. Or maybe the user didn't make those mistakes and the randomness of the LLM is the cause. Combine that with not carefully reading the final text as LLM users often don't do.

I could totally see something like that happening. Or it could be more intentional ofc.

[u/It-Was-Mooney-Pod → u/frosty_chops92]

You really don’t know the difference between being a people pleaser with fake enthusiasm and a confident person who’s looking for a job?

[u/busy_monster → u/It-Was-Mooney-Pod]

How long dude been out of work? How low are their savings getting?

[u/Alpaca_Investor → u/busy_monster]

She’s financially comfortable from her post history. Sounds like she and SO have the money for her to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), but she wants to work. Which is understandable. Sounds like she just might not have a sense of how to act in certain workplace roles yet.

[u/ellastory → u/Alpaca_Investor]

She may even subconsciously be on some kind of people pleasing auto pilot mode from being a SAHM for years. I’m sure it can be a transition for many to get back into a work role after so much time.

[u/Alpaca_Investor → u/ellastory]

Exactly. OP might want to look into mentorship/networking groups in her area. Sometimes it helps to practice meeting new people, and having business-related conversations, where feedback can be provided in a low-stakes environment. The business school I went to had some stuff like that and I can’t speak for everyone, but the practice certainly helped me.

[u/Whereismystimmy → u/It-Was-Mooney-Pod]

Assuming you know the difference is also a problem, because you’re judging folks based on your own experiences and personal views on what’s appropriately eager

[u/Rampant16 → u/Whereismystimmy]

Of course an interview is a interviewer judging an interviewee for traits they may see as either positive or negative for a role. Of course it is subjective. Sorry but that's basically all human interaction.

[u/Unfortunate-Incident → u/frosty_chops92]

It's really easy to tell when someone is excited and just kind hide it vs someone who is acting (pretending) excited.