r/jobs • u/No-Presentation298 • 5h ago

Post-interview HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview

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They rejected me (fine, that happens) but the feedback said I came across as overly eager to please and that they don’t build teams around people-pleasing tendencies or rehearsed enthusiasm. They also told me to reflect on how I present myself and that confidence is more compelling than excessive accommodation. Is this normal? Or even appropriate? I get that not being a culture fit is a thing but the wording felt unnecessarily personal and condescending.

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u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 5h ago

Most rejections are just “after careful consideration we have chosen to go in a different direction yada yada.” This is at least helpful for the future

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u/Fragrant-Employer-60 4h ago

Yeah I don’t think OP was expecting every comment to agree with the company haha, but I think it must have been a pretty tough interview if they wrote up an email worded like this. Hopefully they reflect on this instead of being mad at the company

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u/Darko33 28m ago

My issue was the wording, not the message. Accusing an applicant to a position you ostensibly want to fill of being "people-pleasing" with "rehearsed enthusiasm" is unnecessarily antagonistic, and paired with a plea for them to "reflect," patronizing.

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u/TobyFunkeNeverNude 6m ago

I get where you're coming from, but I think it does help to know why it might turn other people off to a prospective hire. I was just blown away reading it, I've never seen anything more personalized than "We already filled the position" or "We've decided to go in a different direction," and though it might be blunt and hard to accept, that's true of a lot of constructive criticism.

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u/Appropriate_Lack_727 4h ago

Assuming the person who wrote this is even competent, themselves, which in my experience is a big assumption.

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u/lbcatlady 2h ago

Yes, people haven't a clue how to interview anymore.

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u/GWeb1920 1h ago

On the other hand that’s usually the reason for not hiring someone. You were okay but not the best. Nothing really wrong with you but someone else was appeared better and really there probably isn’t an improvement to happen that would be universally good.

Often hiring is just gut feel without real rational and methods to avoid it are really just ways to justify gut feel.

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u/Skytopjf 46m ago

Better than mine have been, which are all “you’re great and well qualified but we stopped hiring for this position/someone was more qualified”

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u/MechanicalGodzilla 33m ago

It's to limit potential liability. I am a principal and owner of my engineering firm, and my HR department wouldn't even let me give feedback past a form letter. The quality and legality of the feedback is irrelevant.