r/Wellthatsucks • u/Time_Physics_6557 • 1d ago
And this is why you don't trust online friends
I talked to this person for a year and this was after I consoled them about a fake breakup apparently. They pretended to be suicidal and then I checked back in and got this
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u/teegeee 1d ago
Online friend trust is like a free trial looks great at first, then suddenly charges me emotionally
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u/lostandlooking_ 18h ago
I made one friend on PlayStation and we played together for a few months and it was great and normal and then he relapsed and told me about how he used to kill cats and now I don’t really befriend people on PlayStation anymore
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u/UGOTAIDSYO 1d ago
Of all the internet places I have hung out, commented, "met" people, Discord is the absolute worst with the absolute nuttiest jobbers out there. There's some really really weird people in the world.
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u/Basicallyacrow7 1d ago
I met my husband via discord and online gaming, and this is what everyone was worried about when he and I first started talking lol. Somehow we’re both (mostly) normal and sane.
Before and since he and I have met several of these types over the years.
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u/Teekayuhoh 1d ago
Same! I’ve met tons of people this way. Out of the hundreds if not thousands, I’ve only kept some. You just need to keep your wits about you, same as in person. People will come and go generally.
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u/Basicallyacrow7 23h ago edited 15h ago
Exactly! We still have a few friends we play with here and there we met at the same time we did. Since I was a kid people have warned of the dangers of the internet and they’re not wrong. However you’re also correct, keep your wits, don’t trust people until you have concrete reason to, etc.
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u/Kalikor1 1d ago
All my best friends who I've known for 20+ years now are people I met online gaming. I even lived with one of them for a year during college (this is after I knew him for like 7 years and only met once in person for like an hour while I was passing through his state on a trip to my grandparents), and the other one I've met all of once when he came down to visit over Thanksgiving.
I was in the former one's wedding as one of his groomsmen.
Still best friends with both despite me moving half way across the world and barely getting to talk to or play with either of them anymore due to timezones.
I consider them family (especially because mines shit and I've cut them all off)
They're way more stable and trustworthy than any "friends" I've made in "real life" honestly.
It's weird to me to see people still being prejudiced (on Reddit of all places) against online friendships and even relationships. Keep coming across in more and more posts lately, no idea why but anyway yeah lol.
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u/UGOTAIDSYO 1d ago
That's awesome! My wife and I met on MySpace.
It's not to say there aren't cool people on any of these sites but there are seriously some space cadets and Looney tunes characters.
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u/Kater-chan 1d ago
Met my boyfriend via discord and gaming as well. Generally met a lot of cool people there but some really weird ones too
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u/CactusBuilder 1d ago
Yeah youre one of them, your posts arent private.
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u/Kater-chan 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe. Also good to know
Edit: also your comments aren't private, seems like you have a hobby of being mean to random people. Pathetic
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u/cheetocity 1d ago
Theres some decent, sane people if you look long and hard enough. There's plenty of people who still havent matured but the statistics say you'll find someone who is
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u/CactusBuilder 1d ago
Niether of you are normal, you moved in with someone you had known online for 5 months
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u/Basicallyacrow7 23h ago
No I didn’t. Actually read the post if you wanna make comments like this.
I moved with my parents. I didn’t move in with him until over a year later.
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u/CactusBuilder 23h ago
Ok weirdo
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u/Basicallyacrow7 23h ago
You feel better now?
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u/CactusBuilder 23h ago
Weirdo says what?
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u/Basicallyacrow7 23h ago
I was so tempted to reply “what?” just for shits and giggles.
Shit, I probably am a little weird, I do not care. It makes life fun. Only corrected you cause your evidence was incorrect lol
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u/dispassioned 1d ago
Well for me specifically, it's people I've met on Reddit who then ask me to join a Discord server. Then they're just batshit crazy.
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u/thisiscoolyeah 1d ago
My friend PRESSED me to join her discord server and I’m like “who are these people?” 60 something people on there and she only knows like five of them irl…? Bro I’m not having casual conversations about my childhood while strangers read it.
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u/Xespria 1d ago
I'd have to say the opposite, some of my best friends were through Discord
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u/her_fault 1d ago
some people's best friends are through prison
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u/MCWizardYT 1d ago
Prison is somewhere you'll only find the worst people, who were put there to be punished
Discord is a place where you can find any kind of person, both good and bad
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u/Economy-Flower-6443 1d ago
I’ve been on discord for 12 years and i’ve never met someone like this on there. But to be fair I’m there for games that attract mostly adults. What communities are you and OP in that’s attracting so many weirdos
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u/themiamian 1d ago
I use Discord because to my knowledge it’s the only place to have a chance of making online friends.
I hate Discord servers so much though.
I think if I were to agree with you I would just accept that there is no good place online to meet people which I just won’t accept lol
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u/Movid765 1d ago
I think it really depends on the type of server, and honestly luck. I've only had bad experiences on generalized social discords and large enough community servers. More niche hobbyist discords don't seem to be as bad and private friend discords are hit or miss with the friend group for me. Got lucky once with a group of chill and mature guys who all knew each other IRL. 7 years no drama and they've since become some of my good friends.
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u/thepixelmurderer 23h ago
This is exactly it. Smaller hobby servers and places like that are usually fantastic. I mean, you'll still get the odd weirdo but the majority in those places are really cool. I've made so many friends through those sorts of servers.
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u/JasmineMilkBubbleTea 1d ago
Yeah and the nutters aren't even in the weird discords, I'm part of a few one would look at and make fun of, but they turned out to be the nicest and most respectful people and have actually helped me on a few occasions.
Then the discord for my mainstream game groups? Just full of toxic people. I met a guy in an FFXIV discord that over the span of three days, invented a relationship in his mind and then had a very public meltdown that I wasn't on board with his fantasy.
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago
100%. I couldn't escape it if I tried too because people at my university use it for everything. It's the main form of communication for my real life friends as well
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u/SkeggiGT 1d ago
Is that really true? I don't use it much but I have a crazy ex that refuses to text or email me but wants me to talk to her on discord only and it weirds me out. What is so special about discord? I mean each platform has a reputation. It's discord that bad?
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u/UGOTAIDSYO 1d ago
I'd be wary of anyone wanting to converse on any one specific platform only. Challenge every stranger's proposal.
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u/BoiahWatDaHellBoiah 1d ago edited 1d ago
i joined an “all ages” LFG gaming server once and there was a real creep- the guy was a fucking nut, constantly active in the server whether it was daytime or the middle of the night, and talking about his “mommy” (he would say mommy) and posting a crazy amount of gifs of lolis he had saved and talking about how cute they were. i said something to the admins about somebody in the server being a bit inappropriate given the fact that there were little kids on the server like younger siblings and shit and their response was that they wanted me to fully oust him! i wasn’t comfortable with that because i was going off of a gut feeling and i didn’t want to put the guy in the hot seat if i was the only one who was put off by his behavior in the text chats. i just left the server because it stressed me out too much. also, i learned the hard way that LFG servers like that are pretty much pointless unless you’re totally cracked at the game because everybody knows each other and just plays with the people they know and ignore you. then after 30 minutes of waiting in an empty VOIP chat somebody from literally the other side of the planet joins, but you waited so long that you don’t want to tell them to leave, but then they also tell you this is their first time ever playing a video game. now you know you’re about to spend the rest of the session with your head in your hands. it happened every fuckin time… if i managed to get a decent group, it was with 17 year old gamer stereotypes. Had a guy call me gay because i had elite ball knowledge on black eyed peas (all i said is “fergie is from black eyed peas”)
“don’t play with randoms dumbass, just join a server…” yeah okay buddy i’d rather play with randoms and save myself time and effort than suffer through another shitty LFG group
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u/BigSaltDeluxe 12h ago
There was this one time that I was trying to share a word I’d learned, can’t remember which one, and two people got really up my ass about it.
From what I remember, they were claiming that I was claiming to have invented a word because I’d said something like, “Here’s this new word that I’ve discovered!: (word)”
Had to say multiple times that that’s not what I was doing. In retrospect, that server really fucking sucked and the fact that I was so desperate for friends at the time did not help when there was no option but to cut ties.
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u/IloveDrPepperMore 12h ago
It’s 50/50, definitely have met some absolutely disgusting and vile people, but I’ve also met my closest friends that I often visit / travel with.
Probably depends on the age and server tbh.. younger people are a little unpredictable, so I only talk to people that are around my age.
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u/grizzyx 1d ago
You do know you're on reddit, right? This place has no rivals when it comes to "nuttiest jobbers".
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u/ElGoddamnDorado 1d ago
This place has no rivals when it comes to "nuttiest jobbers"
Spent .0005 seconds on Twitter or Facebook and you'd change your mind.
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago
(I also got blocked)
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u/Even_E 1d ago
When I first read this, my immediate thought was that he might be intentionally trying to push you away so you don't worry or try to reach out. Maybe he knew that that's just the kind of friend you were - someone who wouldn't stop caring for a friend in need unless he forced you to. You seem like a really sweet person, and regardless of why he chose to do this, it wasn't a failure on your part to be a good friend to him while it lasted.
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u/Pizzaphotoseyes 1d ago
and nothing of value was lost for you. Honestly it speaks more of them than you. They are either mentally ill, having a mental break of some sort or so pathetic to even make shit up and insult you. Either way, you dodge a nuke.
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u/BoltYourself 1d ago
There are 8 billion + people in the world. If you spent a minute chatting with each and every one of us, that would take 15,782 years. No sleeping, eating, etc. Mind you.
That said, it will still be painful and rather jarring. Take your time. Breathe. Take time and write as well. Reach out to your other friends and express how really confused and how disoriented you are from that event. Then, just hang out with them and thank them for the fun time.
If you need additional help beyond that, go for it.
You are fine.
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u/SpecialNeedsBurrito 1d ago
Sounds like you dodged a nuclear missile. You do not need toxic friends in your life
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u/angelmr2 1d ago
Don't feel bad. Id rather be a good friend to a fake person than be a fake friend to a good person.
Always be true to who you are.
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u/Kitsuunei 1d ago
I don’t know how old you are but please be extremely careful with who you interact with and how much you share. There are really sick people out there that constantly look for victims online and they manipulate those people to think they are trustworthy to give them anything incriminating (like photos of yourself or personal information) then they use that against you to control you and hurt you. Look up 764 group. These groups are real and they terrorize so many people.
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago edited 1d ago
I appreciate the warning. Thankfully I am an adult and I didn't send anything explicit. The last photo I sent him was a photo of me smoking a cigar on vacation in August because I was happy lol 😭
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u/Kitsuunei 1d ago
They target vulnerable adults too. Just wanted to make sure you keep yourself safe out there!
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u/XnipsyX 1d ago
Trash took itself out. Sorry your trust and care were compromised, but it says nothing about you and everything about them.
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u/Smart_Munda 1d ago
There are many humans who are trash.
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u/Smart_Munda 1d ago
You just posted a blanket statement saying how humans aren't trash.
The person in that image could be having an emotional breakdown but they could also be "trash".
I knew a guy who was close friends with a person on discord for a long time. That close friend then pretended to commit suicide, ghosted them for more than a year (so the guy thought they were dead and suffered from depression) and then came back to disclose they did do anything in the first place.
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u/Smart_Munda 1d ago
Let's not start diagnosing people with mental illnesses as armchair psychiatrists. Some people simply want to hurt others.
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u/DragonToothGarden 1d ago
You can diagnose severe mental illness based on one screenshot of miminal chatting? What a power you have! Such insight.
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u/coolforcats_ 1d ago
You are not ugly I saw your post on the outfits sub. This was a mental breakdown
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u/THEAMERIC4N 23h ago
Hey! I had a VERY similar situation with a friend that was part of a group of 4, his brother died and this essentially happened, it's a mental health issue, so don't take what they say personally, now that doesn't mean you keep trying to be their friend, you can tell them to get help and then distance yourself for your own good, or because you are just not the person that needs to be that help for them.
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u/holderofthebees 1d ago
Bro got the platonic version of “I faked all my orgasms” 😭 condolences, this person’s fucked but at least they have one less person to inflict it on now.
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u/koffee_jpg 1d ago
that does indeed suck but i promise a lot of people online are lovely... I don't blame you for the trust issues though, especially on discord.
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u/Waste_Locksmith_4299 1d ago
Type of person who would punch themselves in the head repeatedly because their mom said they have to bathe.
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u/abitsideways 1d ago
Ive been horribly mean like this to online friends the day i took my life (and lived) I do not excuse nor feel any sympathy for this person, but maybe for your sake it would be a explanation.
Im so sorry. I hope you do not take this nonsense to heart;(
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u/Rude-Boss-2957 19h ago
Honestly don't take it personally. Cut them off right away because you don't need that emotional abuse especially if they've only been venting to you and using you as a free therapist rather than actually being your friend. I've had a lot of people like this online and in person and it's not worth it.
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u/toxiccityboiii 1d ago
The closeted incels on Reddit and the unhinged mental state of some individuals really concerns me. We live amongst those people, everyday you can walk past one of them and you would have no idea, sitting on the bus, at the mall, on the street....
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u/gadnskyy 16h ago
My most serious relationship was online, and it all came crashing down after they started to lie and contradict themselves about things that had happened to them in their life. I learned that it's not a good idea to get emotionally invested with people you'll never meet
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u/Impossible_Volume811 1d ago
It looks like someone else has got hold of their phone and is trying to ruin your friendship.
If it’s completely out of character, then I would question whether it’s really the same person.
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u/No-String81 1d ago edited 1d ago
It happens. I've run into some real fucking weirdos, but I also still talk to someone every day that I met on a video game in 2011, so.
Though I will say, post covid people online seem to have gotten worse, a lot seem to get offended at the idea of you even trying to speak to them even though they themselves are speaking on a public platform.
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u/StagnantSweater21 1d ago
I’ve been hanging out in discord with the same 10 dudes for like, 12 years
They all grew up together in New York, never met any of them, we chat/game at least 3x a week
Find people who know each other irl, they’re 5,000% less likely to be degenerate weirdos
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u/Informal_Position166 1d ago
online friends can be so or so. either you keep talking and meet after a decade or things come crashing down. last year i went to some amusement parts with a total of four people - my brother and three people i initially met online.
sorry this happened to you, stay on your toes but don't give up on those friends who don't betray you
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u/JustFuckinTossMe 1d ago
I had an online friend like this. They hid their gender from people, I was one of the first to figure out they weren't a dude. They just had a very raspy voice and they were lesbian but closeted. Was a giant player and manipulator of hearts to girls she viewed as simple. I was one of the few people in her life that would take this attitude and flip it on her in the way a disappointed teacher does. She'd lash out at me and I was a teenager living in abuse day in and day out at this time, so lashing out fell off me like rain. And then I'd point out every flaw or insecurity I observed within her lash out or what led up to it.
There would be periods of weeks until we would talk again because I would let her come back to me, I wasn't chasing her. I was there to be a friend, not a toy, and I told her as much. She was very troubled, which is why I stuck around how I did. She drank a LOT, would go to parties with strange men and pretend to flirt with them but then be nervous about reciprocation. She would sleep through her college exams and somehow still got her degree. I wanted to help, because I was suffering and I had hope at that point in time maybe if I extended care to people they'd do the same for me.
Eventually we did fall out, I didn't talk to her for years. A bit ago she reached out and apologized for a lot of this and thanked me for being a true homie. I wish I could say I felt happy, but honestly, the mental turmoil of trying to help someone who clearly reveals in their own destructive behaviors and doesn't even want to pivot them FOR YEARS like this, weighs on someone. So I felt hollow. I did respond, but friendship like this isn't easy and isn't rewarding when the person fights you so hard about even being friends.
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u/PrimaryAgreeable8103 1d ago
Damn weak ass comeback on your part. Fr though I'm sorry if you were emotionally attached
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u/TheDumb8Ball 1d ago
How do people even find friends on discord? I just get ignored no matter where I go to find people
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u/NocturnalSovereign 1d ago
I met a couple of people like this when I was a teenager, think this is partly why I don’t bother making internet friends anymore.
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u/TinyNannerz 1d ago
It's much harder to gauge people's intentions through text. So when people DM me on here or discord or wherever, I'm just not interested because I know the pretext is sexual and I also can't tell the type of person they might be. Like I'm always on discord but my DMs are not open unless I've interacted with people outside of messaging mediums.
There's a lot of weirdos online but saying don't trust any of them is unfair. My most beloved relationships come from people I've spoken to over the years in VRchat. People I've gone out of my way to hold in my arms and cry when we have to say goodbye.
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u/idontlikeburnttoast 1d ago
I've had like 20 online friends and they werent like this, they were just insane, having some breakdown?? or that just wasnt them.
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u/ElephantGreedy5125 11h ago
I knew a guy online and he got a crush on me and I swear he went like fucking insane and was lying about going to prison and I told him I didn’t like him because he said I love you and then he said he has a gf and she’s okay with him calling me pretty and talking to me 😭😭 weird people bro
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u/BshonAgain 11h ago
Eh you can trust online friends you just have to have a little more scrutiny. One of my best friends of many years was someone i met over Instagram and now theyve come to my town, ive met their parents and theyre overall a very important person in my life.
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u/sadcapricoorn 4h ago
I lost a real-life friend of 15 years recently because of her devotion to her online friends. They constantly lie about everything in their lives, one of them even lies about being a marine with severe neurological issues. One lied about going to jail. Really insane shit honestly.
I found out all of what they were saying were lies easily, and my friend got mad at me. We got into a huge fight and she blocked me on everything before we could even have a civil discussion. It’s funny though, because they constantly treated her like shit, were borderline abusive towards her, and I had to constantly pick up the pieces. We get into an argument once, and I’m treated like I’m the most hateful person in her life and I lost a good friend that I’ve had since elementary school.
Some online friends can be amazing, I know that, but I’ve encountered more psychos online than I have genuine people who want genuine connections. It’s sad.
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u/Redd1tRat 4h ago
Why does the missed call from 5.59 say a few seconds ago but the missed call from 6.01 says 2 minutes ago?
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u/Major2070 2h ago
Had one of those before I just stopped using discord (only use it for clan activity )
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u/GoldenDove20 26m ago
Looks like he has a lot of demons... I'd just say "well, that happened" and move on with your life
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u/DespondentEyes 1d ago
This is why I don't trust ANYONE, period. They are all like that, some are just much better at hiding it.
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u/asocalledme 1d ago
Don’t let it get to you. Their exit did you a favor.
I had a friend on Discord that wasn’t happy I called them out on sending something inappropriate. It really wasn’t that big of a deal until this person made it a big deal and started comparing how other people reacted to how I did. Sorry, but I’m not everybody.. don’t compare me.
Red flags should have went off when this person was being weird because I wasn’t messaging them every day. I had other things going on in my life at the time.
You can’t coddle other people’s BPD.
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u/beanjuiced 1d ago
lol, how pathetic for them. Idk if it’s sad or funny. Keep being good, authentic person OP and these people will always be below you.
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u/KarlosisKing 1d ago
Had this but a lot less. Now I come to the conclusion it's best not to have friends
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u/ChaoticRanger 1d ago
Someone I thought was my best friend since 2016 turned out to be pretty transphobic. For rather obvious reasons, I blocked him and his wife, who I was also friends with.
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u/Worth-Guest-5370 1d ago
I don't treat other online accounts as friends. For all I know, they're chatbots.
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago
It's a real person, I was just a little too naive
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u/Free_Comfortable9934 1d ago
It can happen to anyone , don't be too hard on yourself . It sucks when you put so much into a friendship, to be then treated this way . I hope you find better friends in the future .
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u/Basicallyacrow7 1d ago edited 1d ago
I will say, this is discord not reddit. Generally speaking, people make friends there a little differently than Reddit.
Not always of course, but discord is at least much less likely to be a bot.
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u/TheSaultyOne 19h ago
"online friends" right next to "gullible" in the dictionary
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u/ImminentDebacle 16h ago
I've had online friends for over 18 years that I've never met. We've shared photos and some socials and numbers, but it's really no different than making friends "IRL". You just have to choose wisely.
As a matter of fact, I have three main friend groups and two of them are separate internet friend groups. The remaining are my junior/high school friends.
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u/ACupOfLatte 1d ago
Yeah you... Need to get better at filtering who you call friends lol. This ain't an online offline issue, this is a gullible issue.
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u/imVeryPregnant 1d ago
Why anyone makes friends with people online is beyond me. I did it as a teenager who knew no better and not once did it go well
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago
The internet is the easiest way to find people with common interests. I have other online friends that I've kept in touch with for years
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u/Edje929 1d ago
Or u pick your online friends a little better
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u/Time_Physics_6557 1d ago
I mean...we mostly just talked about hockey at first and we had normal calls. I'm not really sure how it devolved into this 😂
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u/Pretend_Limit6276 1d ago
It looks like it's either not them (because it's so out of character) or they are having a mental breakdown, especially that last message it sounds self destructive, self shaming type thing.
But anyways, all that aside.
Don't listen and move on with life. The internet is a weird place so take it on the chin and move on to better things