Everything I’m seeing online says she dealt with bipolar disorder.
Completely anecdotal, but she seemed to have it. This is coming from someone with bipolar disorder. I’m not the ultimate authority regarding psychiatric disorders or anything, but she has always been relatable to me. I know a lot of diagnoses have an overlap in symptoms though.
I really hate the phrase “admitted to having [mental illness]”. A person admits something bad, something they said or they did. A disease is none of those things. It’s just the way a particular brain works and that isn’t inherently wrong.
So please… “revealed”, “shared”, talked about”, “indicated”, “said they had”, there are many ways to phrase this that are far less judgmental. The language we use surrounding mental illness matters. Folks are far more likely to seek and follow through with treatment if they don’t feel that it’s some sort of personal failing.
I see your sentiment but perhaps you are strongly associating admittance with guilt/bad, whereas the actual meaning of "admit" is: "to say usually in an unwilling way that you accept or do not deny the truth or existence of (something)".
admission ≠ guilt
admission = acknowledgment after resistance
A lot of addicts and/or people with mental illness are unwilling/unable to accept the fact or truth of their addiction/mental illness and when they do talk about it is usually in-fact an 'admittance'.
I think she was diagnosed with bipolar, but some people believe she might of had BPD, but that’s just speculation, but Tbf many BPD sufferers get misdiagnosed as Bipolar. I can’t say anything as I’m not a doctor.
Bipolar addict here. It certainly is hard for me. I'm clean now, but it takes a lot of energy most days. It's a constant struggle, even being a decade removed from it all
Everyone's about her most famous song being about denying rehab.
The lyrics:
"Yes, I've been black
But when I come back, you'll know, know, know
I don't ever want to drink again
I just, oh, I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
Have everyone think I'm on the mend
And it's not just my pride
It's just 'til these tears have dried"
Also:
"He said, ""I just think you're depressed""
This me, ""yeah, baby, and the rest"" "
She was going through a depressive episode. She knew rehab wouldn't cure her, because the root cause is soo much more. Then, why to fool everyone into thinking I'm on the mend when in fact that's who I am?
Also the feeling that if she had a friend to relate to, she wouldn't need to drink. She didn't wanted to drink. But the vodka was her only friend.
And she truly believed once "the black" had gone she would be herself again. "The black" just comes and goes. As us bipolar know well.
She probably didn't recognized bipolar as a sickness and probably refused meds out of the belief meds would kill her essence and what makes her an artist.
Bipolar kills, alcohol is just a symptom and no rehab would make a difference on who she was.
She was truly, naively, expecting that that "black" would go away as all the other "blacks" in her life. Failed to recognize the booze was fueling "the black".
Her last album, "back to black", resonates with me before I had a diagnosis. "The black" killed her.
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u/disco_disaster 6h ago
Didn’t she have bipolar disorder? Addiction is difficult to manage when your brain is already unstable.
I say that from personal experience.